My ASVAB is this Wednesday.
I'm thinking about it. Enlisting.
Hell if I know. I've grown tired of where I live. It's boring. But I mean I expect every guy, hell every girl, my age has sad that at some point in time. I think it's time for me to get the hell out of here. I'm 18. I'm wasting my time sitting around, waiting for a student loan to come through, so I can go to a god damned community college.
What the hell. I never saw myself in this position when I was younger. No one to blame but myself really. I fucked up in highschool. not so much with the classes. The people I hung out with, were lazy. Absurdly apathetic. I figured I'd just do as they do.
Spend my senior year chilling and playing video games, and just go to LMC, then move on from there. Don't know where we'd move on from there, but we would have gone somewhere. Probably down the street to the Best Buy and work there till we made manager.
But now here I am. Had a falling out with that group of friends just over a year ago. and wasted my schooling this past year by not attending. and now here I am. Waiting for a student loan approval that will never come, and counting down the days until my ASVAB test.
But will I do it? I mean the more and more I think about it, the more I realize if I go this route with the military, it'll give my life some sort of path. I don't mean some "noble calling" type of a path, more of a "give me something, anything to do instead of this" path.
Think about it. Take this ASVAB. Place high on it. then start working out, get in shape for boot camp. it sounds tempting. I've been needing some sort of motivation to get healthy. and nothing like the impending deadline of bootcamp to motivate a bastard.
This is weird, because when I was younger, I wanted to be in the army, but I was afraid to do so, because I figured the friends I'd make in the service would be killed. But then I grew up to be an introverted fool, so why not.
Yeah fuck, I'm going for it. Three years in. Free school. Just gotta learn to dodge bullets.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
The Life and Times of Noah P Strand...Part One
I never thought I'd live to see the day when Noah would utter the words "come on guys, put your dicks away." Maybe he was just startled by the sudden increase in bare male genitalia, or maybe he was putting on an act, to make Jared feel somewhat less uncomfortable, so Jared wouldn't suffer some sort of "good Christian kid's head 'spolding at the site of all them there dicks" meltdown, either way, when Noah called and told me about the Dick Forest, i was amazed.
Anyway, here's the full story, expertly inserted into a detailed account of my yesterday:
I went to bed around 3 in the morning, after having watched "Simone" with Kayla, then sending her along her way after a hot dicking.
Just kidding, that's a topic for another blog :-P See if she's reading this right now, she'd know I'm delivering on my promise to relate to the Internet masses my encounters with her naughty regions. WHO'S JOKING NOW? oh my...anyway, back to the story on hand
I woke up around 10, for my ortho appointment for 11 am, and that finished around 11:30, they slapped some hooks and ties and more wires in my mouth as well as gave me a note for my recruiter saying these things will be out of my head by January 2010, if I so choose to continue on getting recruited, but that's another post...so I drive all the way home, and get a text from Kayla which read "nom nom nom I'm hungry" so I think to myself -well Alex, it's not like you have anything planned to do today, and you don't really feel like staying at home, so why don't you go get your lady friend some food?- So I drive out to her place of business, and I find her stocking shelves with another co-worker, so I creepily walk by them, unnoticed, and then I walk back up to them and mutter/whisper "hello Kayla" and she's like "uhh hi-omg Alex you scared me!" and I think to myself -mission accomplished- and I follow her to the back room, where she gives me her bank card, her PIN, as well as her order for Burger King, and also asks me to take her car to get it filled up. So I agree, cause I'm a push over :-P...so i go get her car, take it to the bank's ATM get a $20 out of it, go wait in line at the Meijer's gas station cause their cheap, and then head over to BK to get her lunch, and then drive back to her, and chill with her on her break. -You all enjoy that massive run on? I didn't.-
Anyway, I leave there right before two, and head out to Noah's house, and wait for him in the driveway. and he comes trotting out of his house like some sort of proud puppy carrying a frozen pizza and a box of chimichanga beef, and we drive out to Jared's house. We partake in the pizza while watching Coppola's Dracula, which was so uniteresting I curled up on J-man's beanbag chair and fell asleep. I was woken up two hours later by Noah demanding that we leave and me refusing, and to show I was serious, I went back to sleep. Only to have my ass handed a new one by a monstrous slap from Noah. So i punched his dick and then panicked when I realized he's soon recover and seek vengence, so I grabbed my spectacles, sandles and keys and ran for the door to the sanctuary of my car.
Noah and Jared came out soon after, Jared with swim trunks in hand. After a quick stop at Noah's to grab trunks for himself and me, and a brief period of time where we got lost, we ended up at Luke and Shawns' house for a pool party. I swam with them all for a couple hours, then I got out and dried off and changed due to the fact it was 7:30 and I was going to go spend sometime with Kayla. Just so you know, this is the party where Noah and Jared are exposed to naked penis. I get to Kayla's house at 8, cause she lives farther away from civilization then I do, and I'm all prepped and stuff to help her study for her online geography class, only to find, she has no book, or internet access inside...so we go inside to her computer room, where she finds she has an online copy of the text book. We therefore spend the next 30 minutes or so printing out the entire first chapter.
Upon completion of this Herculean task, we grow hungry, and proceed to lay waste to the left overs in her parents' fridge. And then we go outside for her to read her chapter without being distracted by her dad watching the ever so slimey Bill O'Reilly. and about 20 minutes into that, her slightly tipsy, but ever so adorable mother comes to the sliding door to announce to us (and the neighbors as well) that they're "going up" to sleep, and she flicks the porch light on for Kayla at my request, because it was pretty dark out there, and I bet ya Kayla was only pretending to read in that low light environment. But the gesture was moot, because we go inside ourselves and set up a study camp on their most amazing couch. About an hour or so of me watching tv/distracting Kayla from her work, I get a call from Noah, where relays the following story:
"OMG Alex, I cannot believe the night I'm having! So I'm sitting here, in the parking lot of Taco Bell, when this van rolls up and four or five big black men jump out -it's here where I think something bad happened like he witnessed them rob Taco Bell of all their oh so delicious fire tacos or something- and start DANCING IN THE PARKING LOT TO MJ'S BILLIE JEAN. But it's not just any dancing, oh no! It's a synchronized dance routine. Right here, at night! IN THE TACO BELL PARKING LOT."
True story...the call continues where he explains in full about how he encountered all those dicks, and how exactly it came to be a pantless party:
"Well the five of them were huddled around the tiny little Tiki Torch, trying to dry off and keep the bugs off, when Chris pulls his shorts off, which then means that Victor drops his, and then Sky pulls his, as does the last guy. So I make a comment about them putting their dicks away, and they all beging to circle me and flap their dicks in my generation" -Go ahead and take a moment to picture the visual poetry of that scenario.-
He hangs up with me, and I go back to watching television and messing with Kayla. Noah then calls me again, and has a more serious tone in his voice, so I sit up and pay attention. He relays to me his conversation he had on the phone with his gypsy father, Craig, how Craig's roommate/ex-girlfriend asked him to leave a week ago, and he's been floating around Chicago ever since. And Noah told him about Gavin's terrible nasty car wreck. Where Craig then tells Noah that one of the last things Gavin told Craig when we all were in Chicago with him for the pride was that he "get's so tired of living sometimes." When Noah told me, I flashed back to his accident, and Gavin lying in that hospital bed of his, and it was the first time I saw the whole ordeal with a suicidal lense. And that's scary shit man. So Noah and I both grow silent, and then I kind of tell him good night and hang up the phone, shaken by what I was told. I didn't tell Kayla that night. Didn't wanna upset her, but she's going to read this soon enough, so uh...Hey Kayla, don't be upset with me
So anyway, that's the story of Noah and the Dicks
:D
I figure this whole "Life and Times of Noah P Strand" will be a re-occuring entry in this blog, so stay tuned kiddies for more exciting/erotic adventures of Noah. and remember DRINK YOUR GOD DAMNED OLVATINE. Good Day
Anyway, here's the full story, expertly inserted into a detailed account of my yesterday:
I went to bed around 3 in the morning, after having watched "Simone" with Kayla, then sending her along her way after a hot dicking.
Just kidding, that's a topic for another blog :-P See if she's reading this right now, she'd know I'm delivering on my promise to relate to the Internet masses my encounters with her naughty regions. WHO'S JOKING NOW? oh my...anyway, back to the story on hand
I woke up around 10, for my ortho appointment for 11 am, and that finished around 11:30, they slapped some hooks and ties and more wires in my mouth as well as gave me a note for my recruiter saying these things will be out of my head by January 2010, if I so choose to continue on getting recruited, but that's another post...so I drive all the way home, and get a text from Kayla which read "nom nom nom I'm hungry" so I think to myself -well Alex, it's not like you have anything planned to do today, and you don't really feel like staying at home, so why don't you go get your lady friend some food?- So I drive out to her place of business, and I find her stocking shelves with another co-worker, so I creepily walk by them, unnoticed, and then I walk back up to them and mutter/whisper "hello Kayla" and she's like "uhh hi-omg Alex you scared me!" and I think to myself -mission accomplished- and I follow her to the back room, where she gives me her bank card, her PIN, as well as her order for Burger King, and also asks me to take her car to get it filled up. So I agree, cause I'm a push over :-P...so i go get her car, take it to the bank's ATM get a $20 out of it, go wait in line at the Meijer's gas station cause their cheap, and then head over to BK to get her lunch, and then drive back to her, and chill with her on her break. -You all enjoy that massive run on? I didn't.-
Anyway, I leave there right before two, and head out to Noah's house, and wait for him in the driveway. and he comes trotting out of his house like some sort of proud puppy carrying a frozen pizza and a box of chimichanga beef, and we drive out to Jared's house. We partake in the pizza while watching Coppola's Dracula, which was so uniteresting I curled up on J-man's beanbag chair and fell asleep. I was woken up two hours later by Noah demanding that we leave and me refusing, and to show I was serious, I went back to sleep. Only to have my ass handed a new one by a monstrous slap from Noah. So i punched his dick and then panicked when I realized he's soon recover and seek vengence, so I grabbed my spectacles, sandles and keys and ran for the door to the sanctuary of my car.
Noah and Jared came out soon after, Jared with swim trunks in hand. After a quick stop at Noah's to grab trunks for himself and me, and a brief period of time where we got lost, we ended up at Luke and Shawns' house for a pool party. I swam with them all for a couple hours, then I got out and dried off and changed due to the fact it was 7:30 and I was going to go spend sometime with Kayla. Just so you know, this is the party where Noah and Jared are exposed to naked penis. I get to Kayla's house at 8, cause she lives farther away from civilization then I do, and I'm all prepped and stuff to help her study for her online geography class, only to find, she has no book, or internet access inside...so we go inside to her computer room, where she finds she has an online copy of the text book. We therefore spend the next 30 minutes or so printing out the entire first chapter.
Upon completion of this Herculean task, we grow hungry, and proceed to lay waste to the left overs in her parents' fridge. And then we go outside for her to read her chapter without being distracted by her dad watching the ever so slimey Bill O'Reilly. and about 20 minutes into that, her slightly tipsy, but ever so adorable mother comes to the sliding door to announce to us (and the neighbors as well) that they're "going up" to sleep, and she flicks the porch light on for Kayla at my request, because it was pretty dark out there, and I bet ya Kayla was only pretending to read in that low light environment. But the gesture was moot, because we go inside ourselves and set up a study camp on their most amazing couch. About an hour or so of me watching tv/distracting Kayla from her work, I get a call from Noah, where relays the following story:
"OMG Alex, I cannot believe the night I'm having! So I'm sitting here, in the parking lot of Taco Bell, when this van rolls up and four or five big black men jump out -it's here where I think something bad happened like he witnessed them rob Taco Bell of all their oh so delicious fire tacos or something- and start DANCING IN THE PARKING LOT TO MJ'S BILLIE JEAN. But it's not just any dancing, oh no! It's a synchronized dance routine. Right here, at night! IN THE TACO BELL PARKING LOT."
True story...the call continues where he explains in full about how he encountered all those dicks, and how exactly it came to be a pantless party:
"Well the five of them were huddled around the tiny little Tiki Torch, trying to dry off and keep the bugs off, when Chris pulls his shorts off, which then means that Victor drops his, and then Sky pulls his, as does the last guy. So I make a comment about them putting their dicks away, and they all beging to circle me and flap their dicks in my generation" -Go ahead and take a moment to picture the visual poetry of that scenario.-
He hangs up with me, and I go back to watching television and messing with Kayla. Noah then calls me again, and has a more serious tone in his voice, so I sit up and pay attention. He relays to me his conversation he had on the phone with his gypsy father, Craig, how Craig's roommate/ex-girlfriend asked him to leave a week ago, and he's been floating around Chicago ever since. And Noah told him about Gavin's terrible nasty car wreck. Where Craig then tells Noah that one of the last things Gavin told Craig when we all were in Chicago with him for the pride was that he "get's so tired of living sometimes." When Noah told me, I flashed back to his accident, and Gavin lying in that hospital bed of his, and it was the first time I saw the whole ordeal with a suicidal lense. And that's scary shit man. So Noah and I both grow silent, and then I kind of tell him good night and hang up the phone, shaken by what I was told. I didn't tell Kayla that night. Didn't wanna upset her, but she's going to read this soon enough, so uh...Hey Kayla, don't be upset with me
So anyway, that's the story of Noah and the Dicks
:D
I figure this whole "Life and Times of Noah P Strand" will be a re-occuring entry in this blog, so stay tuned kiddies for more exciting/erotic adventures of Noah. and remember DRINK YOUR GOD DAMNED OLVATINE. Good Day
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