Update

I apologize for not updating in a while. I forgot what my password was for the longest time.

I now live in Ann Arbor. I'm living with Mallorie and Phil, with their two cats. In a 900 sq. ft apartment. It's not bad so far. I do the dishes when I can. I just wish I had more money, so I can give them money, so I don't feel like a leech. And of course here is where Kayla would say: "Well if you just went and donated plasma, you wouldn't have that problem!" I couldn't agree more. However, I'm scared to donate. I don't know why. It's obviously safe, or else they wouldn't allow us to do so. It's probably because I'm just a chicken shit. I'm always scared to do new things. Which is why I'm so surprised I actually went through with registering, paying for, and attending class here in Ann Arbor. But, I digress. I have to donate plasma. So I can get money, for my gas, and to help Mallorie and Phil out.

School's really interesting. I've never been on such a large campus. And I'm sure some of you will laugh when you realize that I think this community college's campus is large. but it is compared to the schools I've been to. Maybe it's just because I've spent my entire life in a small community with smaller scale schools. Of course not Eau Clair/River School sized (ie 50-60 lol, enjoy that Kayla) but still, it's sometimes overwhelming. For example, last year at LMC, I would recognize faces in the crowds as I went (or should I say when I went) to my classes. But here, still no dice. Every face is new. Every time I walk the halls. But it's still a good choice for me. I like not knowing any one. It means I can walk the halls in peace, and attend class in peace. I don't have to worry about trying to be quiet, for fear of being overheard when I talk to people.

My schedule is really favorable as well. I only go to school Mondays and Wednesdays. Of course it's pretty much all day on those days, but I don't see the point in complaining about that. In the mornings, from 11-12:25 I have my Intro to Philosophy class. It's pretty interesting, I guess. Sometimes I zone out, but I understand the lectures well enough. I should read the course text, but I find issue with how content heavy they are. Which is rather depressing, come to think of it. All well. Then, from 1-3:50 on Mondays I have my Video Production class, and on Wednesdays in the same time slot, I have Video Editing. Now these classes are the reason I left Benton Harbor. The Production class gives us real "in-the-field" experience, as well as insightful worthwhile classwork covering all aspects of video production. Plus the fact that it's taught by professionals in the field is another added bonus. My editing class is some rigorous stuff as well. As with all computer classes I've taken in the past, I'm always worried I'll be completely lost in the lesson. So far, this hasn't happened to me, and I seem to be at the head of the pack when it comes to understanding the concepts and techniques. I'm just really eager to advance with excellent marks in these two classes, because if I don't, I can't go on to the next level of the Associates Program I'm in, and since that's the sole reason I'm there, that would be no bueno.

I'm glad I left LMC. The horror stories and problems I've heard from other people that went there really do exist. It's a sad little excuse for a college, and I just didn't see the point in staying there, when it offered no real options for my career path. Of course, some will beg to differ, saying that at the very least it would have allowed me to get two years of my basics out of the way, so I can concentrate on my field, but why would I do that, when I can go to a school that offers an entry level degree in my profession from the very first day?

At night, I have my composition class. It's very, very basic. my AP teachers would cringe and possibly cry if they knew I was taking this course. However, the teacher is nice, and the class is very laid back and mellow, so at least I'm not straining to get out.

I also like this liberating feeling I have, now that I'm away from SWMI. I just really enjoy not being there. I just think it was time for me to get away from there. Being cooped up in such a small place for 12 or so years is ridiculous.

I'm also glad to have gotten away from the drama that always seems to find my friends.

It's in essence, stupid stupid stuff, yet it affects everyone so harshly. Someone says something stupid, and everyone else gets mad and upset.

The kind of stuff you swore you would never deal with after high school.

But yet, it still finds you.

I guess it's just what people have to entertain themselves.

"god I can't believe he's such an ass"

"I don't see why people think I'm such an ass"

so on and so forth. You like how I changed my formatting? just one or two lines now? as opposed to massive blocks?

Enjoy it bitches.

I guess I'm just tired of the same group of friends. Probably the worst thing they're ever going to hear.... I just mean, I've known these guys for ages, and I do enjoy their personalities and whatnots. But it's just...after a while I grow tired and weary of them. I'm just so used to them that it doesn't excite me to hang out with them. Everything's become routine.

Should I name names? Fuck, probably

But then there would be such a fallout because of that. I'll try and keep it simple:

Kayla: I'm not bored. I love the fact you're my girlfriend, and you're a really awesome person. In fact, don't be worried, I'm not upset or bored or anything with you

Jared: Sometimes you piss me off. I think I know what it is: it's your simplistic views on everything. I don't know, if that's it, because at the same time, I respect that. I just think you don't entertain the possibility that people think differently then you do. But props to your creativity man, I dig your short story ideas, and the two films we made wouldn't have been anything w/ out your initial ideas. I really want to collaborate with you and make more films this summer. But in the mean time, you just go out and shoot on your own. It doesn't matter if you don't have a script. Just fucking go out and play with camera angles. Just get friends to fuck around on camera...but not to literally fuck on camera, I'm not sure we can handle some amateur porn from you...or any of our friends. :-P

Noah: You're almost like a brother to me. And I'm not just using that cause you're black. I like confiding in and with you. But I guess my biggest issue is that you're so damned wishy-washy. Plans with you fall through, and ideas never get off the ground. You should fix that. So we can be awesome together. Oh, and also, no more of this whole "disappearing" act of yours. I totally respect having a day to your self here or there. But to just leave one group of friends for another, because of a minor social problem is no bueno friendo. You're probably the only guy friend I have who I'll say "I love you" (no homo friendo, but you know what I mean) to...so don't be a dick and disappear on us anymore

Because I will find you

Gavin: You're a cool kid. But there's no need for theatrics. I've read your blog. It reads how I would expect one of Sydnee's little scene friends' journal would read. You've got brains m'friend, and damned good luck. Sure shit's not going to be the same after your car accident. And bitches are bitches, don't worry about it. I just don't like how you get yourself all worked up over things. I also want to say some other things...

-There's a new sexbot about to come on the market. $7k for the most realistic sexbot yet. I'll send you the link in a PM

-Shit...I really did have something that I thought was profound (the above point being just a joke) Oh! You're a cool kid. I just don't like how you're so anti-social when we all hang out. It's a lot of you at your computer...on the Xbox...or iPod in ear doing your thing. Which is alright, if we were all on our computers, or playing multiplayer, or having a listening party. But we hardly ever are. I don't know if that's really what I had planned on saying...but it's all I can think of. Oh also:

-You're portraits are really good. And I swear if you say "no, no they're really not" I will punch you so hard in the dick you'll piss blood. I enjoy your work.

What else is up?

I don't know, I'm listening to Bloc Party and it's bringing back memories from 2008-2009. Which is really weird because Vince Foster is back to hanging out with Noah and Jared, and Bloc Party was all we listened to when the group of us would hang out. I find it weird that he and I stopped hanging out. We stopped after he and Noah played a prank on Adri where they made her believe I was with another girl...or something happened around there that stopped us from hanging out. Eh...He and Adri are still friends, which is interesting, cause when she and I were dating, she didn't like him and vice versa. All well.

My toes are really cold...And I fear this post is quickly turning into a "stream-of-consciousness" exercise.

Well, to get back to my school, I'm in a group for our first film project. I'm pretty excited about that. The people in the group are pretty cool. And I also found out I should def. not be in front of the camera...my face just kind of melts into itself. It's def not attractive. Or it could have been Rick's decision to use primarily closeup shots for the footage he had to shoot of me...That was just an uncomfortable time of my life having this camera about 12 inches away from my face as I mutter and stutter my way through explaining why I want to be in film production.

Anyway: Rick is this old guy auditing the course, so he doesn't get graded on anything, lucky bastard. And then we have Paul, our backup guy, for when Rick isn't with us. We haven't worked with Paul yet, but he seems pretty cool, although a bit apathetic, as made evident by his near constant tardiness to class. Also in the group is this girl Chrishelle. Yeah that's her name. She's pretty cool, she knows what she's talking about when it comes to preproduction, so that's good. Finally, we have Cole. Hipster kid, has some crazy hair. Possibly gay. Pretty cool either way.

I don't know what I'm going to do this weekend. It looks like Mallorie and Phil (from here on out they'll be known as Philorie, because I'm just that lazy) are heading back to Sodus later today (being Friday) meaning I'll have the apartment to myself. I think. If so, AWESOME EVERYONE PARTY HERE. But no not really. I guess it'll be alright.

I'll just be even more alone then I am now.

Shit

That sounds so pathetic. I just mean I've only hung out with one other person since I've gotten here, and that's Neil. He's cool, I just don't know how to go about hanging out some more.

Everyone is like "just go out and make friends!" But it's really not that easy for me. It's been so long since I've had to make brand new friends. As far as I can remember, all my friends were introduced to me by other people, or I've been in school with them for ages so we became friends.

Examples:

Kayla>Jesse>Me

Gavin>Jared>Mark Miller>Me

Noah>Gavin or Faith>Me

I guess I could say

Neil>Kayla>Me

but that's not the case on two accounts:

1) the three of us have never hung out exclusively and for a long enough time that I became comfortable calling Neil a friend (outside of Facebook of course)

2) What's the protocol for befriending someone that's been with your girl? HOW DOES ONE BOND? "So...yeah...how was she for you?" "Pretty good...drunk tho...you?" "She's uh...really good. Fuck this is awkward"

I'm just playing Kayla...i'm just using it as an example to showcase that I have no social tact...and don't worry, that conversation hasn't come up...YET MUAHAHAHAHAHA

Kayla said something about going to a coffee spot and sitting down with a good book and wait for someone to come up to me and talk about the book. But I don't have any "good" books with me. I do have my Canon 40D book. And that's about it.

She says it works for Phil all the time. But Phil has crazy awesome radical/philosophical literature which naturally sparks interest. And not to mention and Awesome beard. Yes so Awesome I continue to capitalize the A in it.

Craigslist has a "strictly platonic" personals section...do you think I could post on there?

***

NEW TO TOWN, NEED FRIEND (Ann Arbor)

m2mw 19

Hi craigslisters. I'm new to town. I'm a 19 year old straight guy, just looking for someone that can be my friend and show me around town, and help me get a start on this whole "socializing" thing. I'm into film and plan on making a career out of it. I also enjoy photography and cooking, and hanging out at friends house. No drugs please. No sex also please. I don't feel like being raped. I would post a picture here, but that seems desperate. Let's see, what else do I like? Oh I enjoy books, of course. But sci-fi, like Ender's Game, or Starship Troopers. I pretty much enjoy all movies. Although I can't watch movies over and over again. I have to wait for a while before I can watch it. Uh I live off Washtenaw with a newly married couple, so I want to make friends, so I can stay out of their way. They're good people, it's just that I feel kinda guilty crashing with them. I'm currently out of a job, so if you know of anywhere in the area that's hiring and is supportive of student schedules, I would love to hear about it. Do you like chinese food? We could meet at Golden Wall and hang out from there. Please respond in an email with the subject being "New Friend"

also, please include a picture.

No Ugos

or Fat Chicks

or Conservatives.

***

I feel as if that would be a very weird and lonely thing to do. I'll call up Neil and see if he wants to hang out this weekend. He's actually a pretty cool guy, aside from a rather disturbing display of Hannah Montana merchandise in his apartment. But he's still pretty cool too. And I get the sense that he's one smart mother fucker, so that's pretty awesome too.

I like smart people. They's good company.

teehee

I've been typing this damned post for ages....

Anyway, Noah and Kayla are currently out with Misha. I heard she's pretty rad and such. She makes a lot of home movies. Which is really awesome. Apparently she has through out high school and more. Which I wish I had known. Cause looking back on it, I would have befriended her and her posse, so as to get some movies under my belt.

I feel as if my friends from high school are talkers, rather then doers. Don't get me wrong, so am I. But it's kinda sad when the most outgoing of us is the guy who hooks up with random girls from the internet.

Alas, I'm off to bed.

I'll try to post in the next five months