lol

I giggled: http://drawingboardcomic.com/index.php?comic=115


PS, going on a Cruise, on the 2nd. ptfo. GOnna start a new life in Mexico, OLE!

Applebee's steaks are shit

Ok, soooo what's up with my life? Not much really. Missed a payment on my tuition fees for WCC. So I'm kinda in hot water for that. I'm in Holland still, working out, doing the P90X. And biking indoors on a training rig. And walking 5 miles daily. Pretty simple stuff really. Going to Florida for Christmas in a couple weeks, leaving on the 22 I believe. I'm pretty excited for that. Going to see if I can come into town on Wednesday morning, so I can get coffee with Kristina. She's a doll. Shame she's got a boy...Anyway, Jared comes back into town Wednesday as well, so I'm excited to hang out with him for a bit over break. He and I are going to build a R/C spy drone that'll feature a live feed of its surroundings, as well as a fully fuctionable airsoft gone for offensive maneuvers. We're going to use it to hunt Pluggles. :P

And Vince, Jared and I also came up with a plan to make a YouTube channel. It'll feature various fake TV type shows. Like one will be an "I Shouldn't Be Alive" style parody, where people will recount tails of being trapped in basements, or attacked by imaginary monsters. Another one will be fake interviews about people and their absurd views or hobbies and stuff. It should be pretty fun. Figured it would be a good way for Jared and I to practice our video making/editing skills. Plus it'll give us a place to.host those projects. So if this gets off the ground (and I really hope this does) expect to see some links to our channel in the near future. Feedback will be appreciated. And who knows, we could always bring on a guest performer for a segment, hint hint ;)

This is really difficult to type on a phone. Hopefully I can go to Florida with Jared and Vince in the spring. So hopefully I'll be more fit by then to pick up the ladies :P. Be awesome if I got with a Cuban girl. Or any Latina. I'm kinda tired of white chicks. They crazy

oh hai

Tell the truth, you're a prick

Day 3 of P90X. Was brutal. Big surprise. I want an Xbox now. Sadly my friends that play video games do so on the Xbox


All well. Hanging out with Chris and Vincent on Friday when I get home from Holland. Going to cook them some tacos. I won't eat them. Cause I'm in super hardcore diet/weight lose/power body building mode lolol

P90X

OMG THE P90X HURTS SO BAD YOU GUYSSSS....

I did my first hour of it this morning, and holy hell do I feel out of shape...I couldn't even do a real push up :(...but it felt good...I'm really pumped and excited to pursue this to the end.


Maybe I should post a before pic, so in three months I can post an after pick and all the ladies will be like "omg look at that stud"


It's funny how I've reverted to hanging out with my old high school friends...I mean, to be perfectly honest, I was a-ok w/ not hanging out with them, seeing them ever again after high school...but now, they're all I hang out with. I'm tired of all my other friends...all they do is smoke weed and drink...every night it seems like. Which I mean, idc if you do it every now and then, but when it becomes such a part of your life that you'll say things like "I smoke every night to help me sleep" or "I really wish I was drinking right now, even though it's 1PM on a Tuesday"...then it just seems like you're weak and developed a dependency on the stuff.

But whatever. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that just because I've started spending a lot of time with my old crew that I'll instantly start to think of them all as BFFs and tell them every secret ever...cause I won't...I don't have a *best* friend. And I'm fine with that. I don't trust people, which I know, is such an ORIGINAL idea, I can't believe no one else my age has EVER said that and MEANT it...but yeah, I'll just keep them at an arm's length...so I don't have to get fucked over

anyway, gotta get back to cleaning and cooking...making Lemon Garlic Chicken on wild rice w/ a side of Asparagus Soup...hopefully it'll taste good

tralalala

Moved out of my place in Ypsi...couldn't afford to live there anymore :(


Moving to my dad's place in Holland, going to work out and educate myself on my own up there. Pretty excited for that...

My cat just nuzzled my neck...it was scary


Anyway, Turkey day was deliciousss....and Black Friday was crazy....waited at Best Buy for two hours to be first in line to get a desktop. 23 inch screen. 8 gig RAM. 1 terrabyte hard drive. Windows 7. It's a really nice machine...family computer of course :( lol


and tomorrow (or I guess later today...) Aron and I are celebrating our birthdays, even though it's a week early...because this way I'll have 3 solid weeks of following the diet plan of the P90X w/o interruption, which will be a nice little headstart before we go to Florida for Christmas...


Also, just got back from our LAN party...it wasn't so much a LAN party, just a group of us sampling each others' games...but now I'm going to bed...the cat is scaring me...oh gawd, he's trying to eat me. Farewell word

Turkey Day

Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day Turkey Day


YAY! So excitedddd, going to hang out with my familyyyy and we're going to eat lots of food, and then hang out and go shopping for Black Friday, and be an awesome familyyy.

And then I'm going to do a LAN party on Saturday w/ some friends, and another feast w/ them. going to be nerdy awesomeness in a smelly dark basement! SO EXCITEDDD


But right now I have to get ready to drive from Holland to Baroda...to pick up the Truck and Aron (when he gets out of school)


and then drive to Ypsi to pack up my stuff...I'm moving out...I'm bummed out by it, but I mean it makes sense, I can't find a job (trust me I looked, I called, I dressed up, I interviewed, but nothing) and I don't have money, so why would I stay there? I'd just be a drag on everyone, and they'd grow to resent me...because they already resent Bryce being there, and I don't want to be resented.

But they'll be upset at me. I know they will. Because they'll have to find another person to move in and take up paying rent, because it'll become too much for Kevin and Neil.

But I guess this was bound to happen. I tend to disappoint those that try to be my friends.

No fail. I mean Kayla's pissed off at me apparently I did something that some reliable source said I did. But idk what that could be. Is she mad I hooked up with Hannah? idk...but if she was she would tell me that not "I heard some stuff from a very reliable person and now I'm upset with you for the time being" I just get the feeling that people are out to get me. Again...this always happens. I feel good about things, and then they come out of the shadows and pull down everything I've built up.

Of course I don't have much built up, and I'm tearing down a lot of it on my own (namely the relationships with people in Ypsi when I leave...but I have to do that. There's no sense in me becoming a burden) But this is not my work.

I shouldn't be surprised though. People like to make my life difficult. It's because I'm soft.

but yeah...

Turkey Day :D Turkey Day :D Turkey Day :D Turkey Day :D Turkey Day :D Turkey Day :D Turkey Day :D Turkey Day :D Turkey Day :D Turkey Day :D Turkey Day :D Turkey Day :D Turkey Day :D Turkey Day :D Turkey Day :D Turkey Day :D Turkey Day :D Turkey Day :D Turkey Day :D Turkey Day :D Turkey Day :D Turkey Day :D Turkey Day :D Turkey Day :D Turkey Day :D Turkey Day :D Turkey Day :D Turkey Day :D Turkey Day :D Turkey Day :D Turkey Day :D Turkey Day :D Turkey Day :D Turkey Day :D Turkey Day :D Turkey Day :D Turkey Day :D Turkey Day :D Turkey Day :D Turkey Day :D Turkey Day :D Turkey Day :D Turkey Day :D Turkey Day :D Turkey Day :D Turkey Day :D Turkey Day :D Turkey Day :D Turkey Day :D Turkey Day :D Turkey Day :D Turkey Day :D Turkey Day :D Turkey Day :D Turkey Day :D Turkey Day :D Turkey Day :D Turkey Day :D Turkey Day :D Turkey Day :D Turkey Day :D Turkey Day :D

Srsly, I'm pumped

Ahem

Need to find people up in Ypsi that wanna buy some pills.


I'm sure there are, just none of the people I know really need what I've got. Which sucks, cause I need money.

I've got a bottle full of prozak up for grabs. As well as some Vyvanse.

I need to sell em to pay for rent. Does that make it ok? I mean I don't really care. I'd rather sell then abuse em. and stuff.


Also...I really like Call of Duty Black Ops. It had a pretty fun single player campaign and the online multiplayer is pretty cool, different then MW2, but still keeps a lot of similar elements, so it's not like you're fresh off the boat so to speak. There is a bit of a learning curve. But I may be imagining that, seeing as the first two times I played online it was split screen, first on Kevin's 19 inch tv (which resulted in some horrible K/D ratios) and second time on Neil's 42 inch plasma, so that's a bit better.


OH AND IT HAS ZOMBIES YOU GUYS! It's really fun, and super difficult. Bryce and I spent the afternoon learning about and exploiting glitches to survive more levels and rack up insane kill streaks (zombies has unlimited waves of zombies so shit gets serious. Pre-glitch highest we got was 6, Post glitch we got to 11 :P...and the highest we heard of was someone getting to round 16 online)


Yeah I think we're going to have a party tomorrow night. I guess for Camilla's friend Jordan's birthday. She wanted to go to Necto tonight, but it's gay night on Fridays and Neil and Bryce were against it. And I mean if we all went as a big group, and spent time with the girls, we wouldn't have a problem. But they won't have it. Anyway, we were going to host a party tonight, but I guess the girls are doing something else, since Camilla, Neil and Rachel are in Kalamazoo to see Camilla's friend Andrea and Neil's best friend Derek/they all went to see HP7 at midnight...so since Jordan is Camilla's good friend, it be kinda weird if it was Bryce and I hosting all these people we wouldn't know. Plus we wouldn't be able to buy alcohol because we youngins yo.

I guess Camilla has been super mad at Neil for at least the past 24 hours or something. Cause he texted Bryce last night and today saying that Camilla hasn't said a word to him. All day. And the drive from here to Kzoo is a good 2 hours. Idk what that's all about. Neil said yesterday before he left to go pick her and Rachel up that it was Camilla's time of the month, and due to a mess up w/ her birth control missed a week or something, so it's hitting her super hard (is that how it works? I haven't had much experience w/ girls on birth control...and considering all the unprotected sex I've had, I'm rather surprised nothing bad has happened) So, idk what that's all about.

I hope they don't break up or anything, because I like hanging out with Neil and Camilla, they're fun people. And Camilla's lady friends are all our lady friends, so if Camilla leaves the group, so do they...and it'll just be us guys...which is totally cool, because I just loveeeeee watching football (sarcasm y'all...italics isn't working atm)


Anyway. Idk...I still really need to find a job. The Borders manager wasn't the manager w/ final say on hiring, that manager/boss was out of the building for the day, so he offered to just field the applicants...I got along pretty well with him, he could tell I was a bit nervous, but he explained the situation...asked some questions (days I'm able to work etc) explained payscales and such. And then we just kind of shot the shit for a bit, talked about books and stuff, and the new Harry Potter movie (he got midnight tickets, I was jealous :P) anyway yeah, I'm supposed to hear a call back from them to go through the process again w/ the hiring manager...but I'll believe it when I get it....if my phone ever works again :(

My phone won't hold a charge, I'll put it on the charger all night and in the morning it'll still be in the red...but not like 20% red, which still gives me a couple hours for a couple phone calls or some facebooking, but like I go to read my texts and it dies...I guess I could conduct my phone business w/ it plugged in and charging, but I don't like talking to people with other people around, because I feel like they're listening to everything...which tbh is what I do when someone is on the phone around me...


lol this wasn't supposed to be a long post, but all well.


I guess November is National Write a Novel Month. Which is really cool, a couple people I know (Camilla and Derek's girlfriend Beth) are partaking in it. There's like a website and you have like daily and weekly word quotas to hit, and the website has tips and workshops and stuff, and it all sounds really interesting. I wish I hear about it earlier, I would have loved to see if I could write a "novel" in a month. Cause I can't grow facial hair to save my life :( lolol. I probably could shit something out right now...but yeah I don't really know where I would start.

I've got like ideas and stuff. Mostly they're just snippers of a story, like a scene in a movie or a very, very basic premise for a movie or story...idk.

I should just carry a little pocket notebook (like a moleskine or something) around with me and just dot down ideas when I get them...and idk save em for later, and work on them when I get the chance? I got that idea from Jackie Chan, I was watching a special on him (I think it was on Discovery Channel, as like a documentary on his stunt work or something) but he was in this tiny little office and it had shelves running along the walls, and they were FILLED with notebooks. All sorts of shapes and sizes, all well worn and clearly full/used. And he said each and everyone was full of ideas for movies. All aspects of a movie, like plots, character descriptions, fight choreography, dialogue (sp?), and stuff. All full. That's crazy. Of course the notebooks span the last couple decades, but still, that's really cool. Yeah that's what I'll start doing. I'll ask for a couple small notebooks for Christmas. and I'll jot down notes everytime they enter my head :P.

So I think Aly and Ryan might be coming by to chill and drink for a little bit with us tonight. That's pretty cool.


give you a dollar if you read all this.

welcome to November bitch

So, how we doing motherfuckers? I'm doing just fine, just rocking out to Girl Talk...yeah it's bitchin' and before this, I was learning about dubstep music. It's pretty interesting stuff...so where I at dawg, where I at?

Oh well I remember my last blog i mentioned I was going to party with Mish and co that weekend. Yeah that happened. my new favorite drink is Vodka+Red Bull. that was a good night. and then the following weekend was our Halloween party in Ypsi


Shit was crazy, 43 people in our small house. We partied in the basement, but it was legit, we set up Neil's DJ stuff and light systems, brought in a fog machine and a strobe machine and a couple black lights and it was pretty fucking awesome, let's be honest.

I was going to sleep with this one girl, but Kevin woo'd her quicker then I could...that ass lol.


And then the following weekend my friend Hannah and her boyfriend Tom came up to visit me. the three of us and Neil went to BDubs and then after that we went back to our house and partied with Bryce and Neil's girl Camilla. Bryce and Tom schooled Hannah and I at pong. And I got super drunk on Vodka+Red Bull. And got Tom super drunk on vodka+sierra mist. He passed out in my bedroom.

Then Hannah and I hooked up in the bathroom. Oh drunken Shenanigans...

then they drove home the next morning. And broke up. But then got back together. So whatevs.

and this past weekend, was Olivia's birthday, so we pregamed at our house, then drove to Necto, and I actually danced the entire night (err three hours we were there) but still, y'all know me, and that ain't me. Dance for a good chunk of the night w/ Camilla's friend Ellie. She's rather qt.

Back in Holland now, driving my dad to the Grand Rapids Airport tomorrow for noon. then I'm going back to Ypsi, because I've got a couple interviews for jobs! Borders Books and Chipotle. Kinda leaning towards Borders. But I won't be rpetentious about it yo.


I'll update again in a month or something you rascals

oh look, a Deadmou5e

I AM SO PUMPED YOU GUYS.

Partying on Saturday, with the crew from over the summer! so pumped!

and Monday?! MOTHERFUCKING DEADMOU5E IN CONCERT IN YPSI! omnomnom

ps, i'm drugged

Wowza

Sooooo, a .45 revolver is loud. really loud.


My right ear is still ringing, and I shot it yesterday.


PS, I can't breathe out my nose. I think this weekend the old summer crew is getting back together to hang out. but we'll see. Annalise said she can't leave K-Zoo until late in the night and has to work again at 10, and then Misha said she was worried it might not happen. But I hope it does happen. I miss mah summer friends.

fuck izso cold up in hereee.

Work at Haworth is set to dry up pretty soon :(. This makes me really nervous, because I need a job to pay rent in Ypsi, and I don't want to have to leave the house because I like living there, and I would hate to move back home :(...ugh, as I'm sure I've said before: growing up blows.

all well. I'll look super hardcore for a job when I'm back up there after next weekend

I. Want. Abe's. RIGH NAW

Gosh I'm awake at 7:30 in the morning? On a Saturday? D'fuck? But I guess that's what happens when you don't sleep. You stay awake.

I went to my bedroom at 1 am. Never hit real sleep. Eyes were shut but my head was spinning at a thousand miles an hour.

So when Kayla texted me at three, I was able to respond.

But about this entry's title: holy hell do I want Hippy Hash from Abe's right now. I haven't had it in ages! Last I remember is the morning after last year's Halloween party. Gosh it sounds so good right now.

Kayla is in town visiting Patrice. I should text them in an hour or so and see if they want to go to Abe's. I don't like eating out on my own. I feel all sad and lonely.

And sometimes I mutter to myself, under my breath. But the waitstaff still catches it. And it's awkward.

Going to lie back down for a bit and then text people and see if they're up to doing an Abe's run

smile broken mask, smile

going to go break my knuckles. going to go punch a wall. over and over and over again.

hate everything and everyone. old friends. old girls. new friends. ugh. i just want them all to suffer.





but I'll just play along and pretend to enjoy their company. smile broken mask, smile

Broken Toe, Broken Soul

Saw 3D, freak out for mediocrity you guysssss.

Watching Adult Swim w/ Kevin and Bryce. and we're just chillin it's nice.

I'm in Ann Arbor for the week again. ROCKING BITCHES AND SNORTING BLOW.


or spending 10 hours or so working from home...:-/ truth is not sexy lolol.

we had a party Saturday night. It was super fun you guyz. Until i drunk texted Kayla. Smart move? YEAH!/No, no it was not. urg ): Said what I wanted to say, but it prolly wasn't the best time/place/mental state to do so.


Hung out with Olivia today. Along w/ Kevin and Neil. Bryce locked himself off in his room for some reason. I walked Liv to the ice cream truck, and we all hung out on the porch while everyone (except me) played their Android apps. Then Neil went to class, and Kevin and Bryce went out back to throw the football around. Liv and I went to Wendy's. It was pretty cool actually talking to her for once.


she and Andrew are back together.

GARDEN PARTY? YEAHHH BOI!

I'm pretty tired. maybe I should go to sleep. But I don't want to. Neil and Camilla aren't back yet. And I enjoy talking with them for a few minutes before they go off to bed

eh maybe I'll sleep

Sammich

EDIT: Anya Marina's cover of Whatever You Like + fall nights= most melancholy/surreal/pretty thing everr. true story, I was there


I just ate a sammich. It wasn't that tasty. I should learn to make better sammiches. I also happen to be listening to Passion Pit....I like passion pit. Especially the song Sleepyhead. It's so cool. reminds me of Palm Pixie, and the sun baking me in Kayla's ground floor apartment, and all of last year. that was a good year. that's when I got my awethome Prada lenses, omnomnom....I'm ranting. Do people read rants? Gavin hid his blog, so I can't read his rants, but he can read my rants. That's cool I guess. To be honest, I was wondering why my blogger homepage hadn't had a new post from him in AGESSSS (throw arms up in air for maximum effect!).


my tummy is still grumbling, asking for more food. "Feed me boss Alex" it says (best imagined w/ James Earl Jones voice)

i find it weird that it seems as if it's always James Earl Jones' voice people go to when they want a commanding rumbly voice...but his voice is just so majestic and regal, you'd be hard pressed to find another voice worthy of insane head narrations.

insane I say! although, let's be fair, Morgan Freeman's voice is as pure and timeless as the mountain air itself. Oh gosh.

Things white people like: Old black movie stars' voices.

My car is in the shop. You all ever read Catcher in the Rye? I did, senior year of high school. I like it. my engine will be installed Thursday/Friday. I like Catcher in the Rye because it really does just seem like some kid's ramblings.

maybe I also like it because everyone's all "OHEMGEE iz such a bad book u guyz, Lennon was killed because of it" first off: hush yer mouf.

that's all I've got on the Lennon assassination, but I really did enjoy the book. Maybe it spoke to me. But it spoke to everyone in my class. Even those who don't seem like they're fucked up. Like Nick Herrman. He had his stuff together. Plus being one of the smartest people in the school had to help.


gosh there are so many smart people. I think I'm pretty smart in some areas. But then I meet these people who are all over politics and philosophy and language. and I'm all like "damn dude, I wanna be smart and know everything you do, and have ironic conversations about the state of American politics, and drink that cheap beer"

but then I realize it means I have to sit down, and focus and learn all this. So it just becomes easier to sit back and watch them argue and drink their cheap beer...

my scar is so itchy. Sometimes I just want to dig into it, like a piece of pie. with a fork and everything.

just tear it off. but it hurts to apply any force to it. :( can't consume what hurts, can you? No, you can't.

I want to write stories. and poems. and screenplays. and letters. letters to the governor and editors. and my congressman. I won't have much to say. Just give them something lighthearted and wacky to read, brighten up their days. But hopefully it won't be like "stalker wacky" cause I don't want to get arrested by the secret service. or FBI. ATF? yeah if they arrested me I'd be ok, cause you don't hear a lot of activity from the ATF. or the Marshal service.

If i was a cowboy, I'd shoot a man dead in town for looking at me funny

THOUGHTS?COMMENTS?

I think I imagine it when people give me funny looks. but other times, i swear they REALLY are (zomg watch out) it's not doing a lot for my self esteem. being me is already hard enough.

but it's not that hard, i'm not a lil scissorfaggot emo kiddy (no idea what a scissorfaggot is, but I like the look of it)

gosh it's time to work again/already....


psssst here's the part where i talk about my weekend:

on Friday I hung out with Kristina Piasecki. She drove me around, I bought some clothes and season one of Community on DVD, then we went to her apartment, where we watched the majority of it/she started knitting a blanket for her sister's graduation/we laughed while listening to her roomie and her boyfriend fuck for 4 hours...srsly they did, it was awkward (thin walls, you hear?)

I find it's better to rant and talk in circles, so no one knows what the hell you're trying to say.

Saturday night Kayla actually hung out with me. we drove to the pier and walked it, then drove home...it was bittersweet. nostalgic. really really dark outside. like a movie. it gets really dark lately here. and i always feel like i'm in a surreal filmscape. gosh idk...fall is here and i've got this sad bitter little feeling in my chest at night because of it. :-/


siighhhhhhh

war war war i declare war/eyes twitching

Let's have a toast for the jerk offs

Does anyone read mah blog?

iunno...


my car needs a new engine...which will hopefully be put in this weekend, and be paid off by next week...urg. i hate spending money.

but I do spend money. So much money. $15 on posters here...$30 on dinner there...$45 concert ticket.

I've got it, so I'll spend it. And then feel guilty about doing so. URGHHH

I'm so lonely (bahhh how fuckin' pathetic?!)

I don't really know anyone in Ypsi, ya got me? I mean sure I know my roomies.

But Kevin is hardly ever @ the house, seeing how he works an hour away.

Neil is in class for most of the day, and when he's not, he's out with Camilla.

And that just leaves Bryce. Who's a nice guy. But so dull. all he ever talks about is sports and drinking. And I'm not a follower of sports and I only drink once or twice a month, if that...

But aside from them, who else do I have to hang with?

Ryan is all sorts of butthurt w/ everyone in my house because we never got around to getting him in on the house. All well, fuck it.

Andrew Kozak? Nah that's weird, I don't even really know him.

Rachel? Kayla's best friend from school? yeah right, sure I'll hang with her...

Liv? Andrew's Ex/whatever? No, too weird, and even if I did, people would talk, think there were ulterior motives to her and I hanging out...plus i've been stuck at the house (seeing as my car needs an engine) so she'd also have to hang with Bryce...who she cannot stand...but we all think Bryce has a crush on her...


I miss my friends from SWMI:
Misha/Suzy (in my mind they're apparently one entity)
Jared...gosh I've only seen him a couple times this past summer. But he's off in KZoo
Noah? Yeah him too.
Kayla...? Yeah I miss hanging out with her. But that's probably never going to happen. It seems like I piss her off everytime I open my mouth/text her anything.


I miss them all. but I'm too stubborn and don't want to sound weak and let them know how i feel. :(



I'll keep typing here on this blog, but no one will really read it. But I'll keep signing in every day, to see if any one commented on it. and be disappointed every time.


But I guess the house in Ypsi is coming along nicely. We're a little over a mile away from Depot Town, which is pretty cool.




frickkk idk what else...so to sum up: New House. Miss my friends. Wish they would still want to hang out with me. Gotta make new friends. something something something dark side

(family guy reference lolol)

We Charge Into Danger, No Guarantee Of Safety

Had a badass dream a couple nights ago.

I was on a military base. And for some reason, they gave me a mech suit. And
then I got attacked by helicopters and tanks and shit. I survived that. And then
I went into this hanger and got out of the suit. And then grew to twice my
height and got super powers. And kicked the army's ass. Lol.

I move in to my ann arbor place on Sunday. I'm really excited/nervous. I'm
typing this on my phone. But my phone has no bars so it won't be able to upload
it to blogger.

I'm not sure if any one actually reads this, which makes me feel safer in saying some things....like:
I feel bad for Kayla. I wish she could talk to me.
But she doesn't want to piss him off. So I respect that, even if I (obviously)
don't like him, or the situation she's in. Idk. I'm sure the last thing she
wants is my pity. So let's not call it pity then? No idea what you'd call it?
Maybe it's just me being remorseful that we're not as close as we told each
other we'd be...who knows. I want her to be happy. I miss happy Kayla. I miss
Kayla...

I want to adventure. Just get my camera kit together and wander around. Shoot
everything. And I don't mean an adventure as in "going three hours north, be
back Thursday!" I mean "catching a flight to Washington state, be back in a
month" just travel an explore. Fight lions. Well not a lot of lions. Maybe just
one or two, just to try it out, ya know? I don't even think there are lions in
Washington state, DAMMIT MAN YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!

Saw inception again this past Sunday. Went with Piasecki. I was burnt out from
Hanging with Jared and Vincent from Friday-Sunday afternoon.

They're fun guys. In small doses. Long exposure makes me bored and I tire of
them quickly. I miss Misha and Suzy. Hanging out with them is fun.

Noah used to be fun to hang out with. But he has successfully avoided me for the
past two months. Kristina and I dropped in on his going away party earlier this
month. The ass was high as a kite. So we told him we're leaving. He stumbled
after us to walk us to the car. He said he hasn't been able to hang out with
either one of us because he was so busy getting high/saying his goodbyes to
everyone he's ever met.

W/e. I miss hanging out with him and the girls and Kayla back when Misha was
house sitting. That was nice (aside from being awkward because I had just met
Misha/Suzy)

Not going to school this semester...surprise surprise. I couldn't register
because I owed WCC $550 for some asinine reason. But I needed a car before I
could worry about other expenses. So by the time I was able to pay off the fine,
all the classes I needed were full/unavailable. So now I'm working
Monday-Wednesday in holland and doing remote work Thursday-Friday from ann
arbor.

I rant a shit ton. Jeezus

Back to work I go...=

It's been a month...

...since my last post. Holy hell. Anyway, I have a new car now. it's an '01 Hyundai Accent. Manual transmission. Bought it with 100k miles on it, for $1500. Put a $550 sound system in it. It's pretty sweet. I'm excited that I finally learned how to drive stick.

Started hanging out with Vince again. It's so weird, he and his girlfriend broke up in a near identical manner to how Kayla called it quits with me....really fucking weird.


I move into my house in Ann Arbor one week from today...I'm really excited/happy about that. I'm staying on @ Haworth too. 3 days a week I'll be in Holland, and Thursday and Friday I'll be doing remote work from Ann Arbor. At least through the end of September, that'll pay my rent for the next few months no problem....

more to post later, Vince and Jared are back w/ frog legs, and I'm going to cook them up. Take care you royal fucks.

Urg lolol

WOOO


week is almost over, just a few more hours!


checking out cars today after work. Found a kick ass looking VW bug. Blue, stick shift, only 55K miles on the engine :D. Went to see it last night in the storm, it's beautiful :3

And today checking out a Tahoe and a Cadillac, dad's mechanic knows the people that own the Caddy, so that's sweet.

Train!

Look at me mommy writing a post on a train woooo

Weekend was pretty good. Missed my train Thursday night out of kzoo, so Neil and Bryce drove down to get me. That was really cool of them. However hanging out in Kalamazoo after 11 at night was bloody creepy. I was followed by this guy in a wheel chair for like 15 minutes but then he left. So that's cool.

Friday Neil Ryan and Alyssa all went to the Henry Ford to catch Inception in IMAX. THAT MOVIE WAS AWESOME. Like hands down my favorite movie I've seen in theaters this year.

Then Saturday I was in the apartment like ALL day by myself really. Neil went to go spend time with his girl who just got back from mackinaw island or something, so that's cool. And bryce and robin were out and about most of the day. But then round 11:30 Neil and Camilla came back to the apt and we walked over to their friend Ryan's (not the Ryan that came with us to inception) apt for a party.

Super lame party. Everyone was divided into their cliques. The ghetto guys on the couch an the "artsy" kids on the floor. So Neil and I both had three beers and I had a big ole glass of UV Blu. Cause that's all there was. Really lame and hot (there was no AC)

And today, Sunday, was pretty laid back. I hung out at the apt all day again and Camilla and Neil were in his room and Bryce and robin in his. I talked on the phone for a good hour or so with Kayla. That was really nice. I missed doing that. Then around 5:30 Neil Camilla and I drove to Chelsea to get her brother cause he needed food, which they were going to get after theydropped me off for my train.

Pretty chill weekend. Kinda bummed I spent most of it in the apartment by myself but izzok, I'll be back in a couple weeks.

Still need to talk with Neil and Ryan about living arraignments for this RAPIDLY approaching semester. But we can't seriously discuss anything until Neil finds out what Bryce is doing when their lease is up. He owes Neil $2k and the court $1k. He's got no job and isn't looking for a job. But we have to know wether or not to include him in our living plans for this fall.

Neil was telling me bout how his parents might buy a double wide trailer, which means he and his roomies would just have to pay the lot fees and utilities which would be a lot cheaper then an apt. And a double wide could comfortably fit three guys. So hopefully we'll get the ball rolling on something very soon. Like next time I'm in town. I told both him and Ryan I can get @ the least $1k saved up by the end of the summer which can go towards rent. I hope we get something figured out.

This train ride blows ass. So sore no one to talk to. Sadface

Holy SUPER Fuck!

EDIT: Seems like I'm Brandy Alexander: Resident Ghost

no one has responded to my texts bout hanging out. no one will. Fuck this is stupid. There's better things for me to be doing, it's just so much easier to complain. Going to Ann Arbor next weekend, a place where I actually feel like people want me there.

As opposed to here. Time and time again I feel like Misha and Suzy just put up with me.

ugh. fuck. good night






Sony Vaio, with expanded HDD,RAM, as well as Adobe Bundle (Adobe Premier Elements, Adobe Photoshop Elements): $1500

Adobe After Effects: $1000

Canon XL1S (Refurbished): $1445


Total: $3945


And let's not forget school:

One Semester: $1200

Penalty Fee: $500 (cause I left school early)


Total: $1700


Running Total: $5645


AND LET'S NOT FORGET RENT/COST OF LIVING.



fucking shit i need a job this fall, or I'm taking out a massive as shit loan

The 3rd

Well this past weekend was really fun.

Went to the Baroda fireworks w/ a whole bunch of sexy people.

Partied w/ them

They're all lightweights

I wasn't drunk at all, they were shwasted

Chelsea chick was super fine.

And she was flirty w/ me

I'd hit it. I'm sure she's almost 18.

and so what if she has a boyfriend? I'm a college boy, I'm 100x more awesome


bahahahah

but srsly I'd tap that


my uncle died while I was partying. I didn't say anything during the party

didn't want to ruin their silly drunken fun


then on the 4th I drove my friend kristina to the fireworks in st joe

felt bad cause i told jared and gavin I decided not to go

but i did.


I hope I can hang w/ my friends this weekend. And see that Chelsea girl again.


Going to Ann Arbor weekend after this. Party/job hunt/party hardy

going back to baroda in a couple hours, I've got a super early doctor's appointment tomorrow morning, then back to work, wahoo

Pride

Went to Pride


it was awesome. Photos on my facebook, check it if you can.


Noah's mad at me.

Whatever.


Short work week this time around (just wednesday-friday)


awesome Holiday weekend plans? I think so

Even if Noah is mad at me


Decided I'm going to go the whole weekend w/ out taking any ambien, and only taking my pain pills when i feel my hand burning.

I want to be able to remember the weekend on my own.


I don't want to rely on photos and other people to recall what happened.


I also want to connect with people.


going to sleep, going to work, going home. Love it :D

Howdy Doody

Well...had my surgery today. Seems I actually severed the tendon completely, rather then just nicking it.


Weird...hope it doesn't mean I can't use my thumb any more. We'll see how therapy goes.

Anyway, I feel bad that I never responded to Gavin when he asked when/where my surgery was. I saw he had messaged me the night before, but of course I didn't see that until after surgery, when I checked my phone :X. Feel really bad about it, cause he was the only person who really offered to come see me, I had to ask Noah if he'd ask Suzy to bring him so they could visit me. Ugh, sometimes I feel like a bad friend :(

And Suzy and Noah said they'd come see me...but then Suzy texted me saying she had to work today. So she couldn't come, and therefore Noah couldn't come see me, since he has no car/license.

I'm getting kind of tired of not knowing until the last moment if the plans I've made with them are going to happen or not.

So it was just my mom and dad there when I went under and when I woke up. Which is good, I'm glad both of them were there.

Mom/Dad didn't say anything bout no one coming to see me, even though I both told them some people might. last week, I jokingly told dad that since my friends couldn't make it to Holland for the weekend, that I had "guilted them into visiting me after my surgery" and told my mom that my friends will get a hold of her through either my phone or hers, to find out where I was being treated, and when they should arrive, to see me.

I'm glad they didn't ask. I felt rather hurt that they weren't in the room when I woke up. But it's fine. Gavin could have been there, if I had bothered to check my stupid phone.


I hate hospital gowns. So hard to tie, even with one hand. My god damned ass hanging out of them while trying to put on my little booties for surgery...SO AWKWARD.


Kristina P at least texted me last night to ask me to tell her how my surgery would go. That's nice of her. She's a nice girl.

I might buy Jess Trail's car. She's offering it for $1800. 2 door 98 Monte Carlo, leather interior, cd player, 22 mpg/300 miles on a tank...sounds pretty nice right now. *only* 140K miles on it...bout what my car has...hope it's transmission won't give out soon.

I'll have $1000 saved up by tomorrow afternoon...my tentative plan right now is to go home Saturday afternoon, I figure I'll be able to drive by then, possibly get a ride out to her house to see/drive the car, and offer to put the $1000 I have down on it, and pay her $250 a week until the rest is paid off, which would be in 3.2 weeks (thank you calculator)...of course, the next few paychecks i'll be getting are going to be a bit lighter then usual...thanks to recent events...

but hopefully she'll agree to that payment plan, she said she'd prefer the $1800 upfront, cause she's going to use that as a down payment for her new car...but she's a friend, so she might be lenient. Hopefully.


I should really go to sleep. I'm not running tomorrow morning, but I still have to be at the office for 7:30...but I'm not really feeling the urge to sleep. I'm tired...I just don't want to sleep.


Since Dad drove me down for my appointments Wednesday afternoon, Aron drove me back up here around 7 or so this evening. He has to be back in Baroda before 2:45 pm, since he works Friday nights, so he'll be getting up when I do, to head home.

Here's hoping he doesn't get lost.

When we got here, we went out to Casey's Food and Spirits for some nomming. It took awhile to get service. But our waitress was damned fine.


horrible nasty, illegal things I would do to that woman.

and I'm not normally a fan of blondes. But DAMN.


anyway, yeah...I wanna go back to Ann Arbor...I mean, it's only been a little bit over a month since I left, but I miss my friends there. Neil, Bryce, Lauren, all really good people. I miss drinking too. Not in a like "omg i haven't had alcohol in ages, i'm dyinggg" kinda way, but i miss the social atmosphere associated with drinking with that lot. Also like to see Lauren's friend Amy again...meow

bahahaha. Fuck my whole hand hurts. I don't think these Tylenol Level 3s are working. I'll give it a day or two more, just in case it's like post surgery swelling or something...if it still hurts then, I'll ask the doctor for an upgrade

all though I'll feel sketchy asking for Vicoden. But to be fair, he did offer it first...

all well, I'ma try and sleep...hopefully by Sunday evening I'll have a new car, yaayy

Film festival update

Well the festival was pretty darn neato. After I found Ashley's house (the girl who was taking me to the festivus) and we drove there, we had an hour to kill so she took me around saugatuck. Cute town. Kinda like downtown St Joe. Anyway the first film, The Extra Man, was pretty damned funny. The second, To Catch A Dollar, was an interesting documentary on the first branch of the grameen bank in the USA. Then after that we went back to her house where I grabbed my car and drove home.

I'd totally do it again

Film Festival

Saugatuck Film Festival to be precise. I'll hopefully be able to go Saturday evening. Bob, one of my dad's coworkers said he'll ask one (out of 6) of his daughters if they'd like to take me to the festival. Which will be pretty cool. I've always wanted to go to a festival, and it'll be nice to meet new people.


But I'd feel bad if whoever it was that came to get me felt obligated or coerced into it. Cause then that wouldn't be fun for any of us :(


Anyway, going to sleep, I get to sleep in tomorrow...until 6 am. then work from 7-1 :)

Wowza

I've lost use of my left thumb for the time being. Slicing open a tendon will do that to you. I'm going in for surgery Thursday to get it fixed up. For the time being I'm wearing a fiberglass splint and a cotton wrap to keep it covered.


9 stitches. Wooo


People ask, I tell 'em I cut it while I was prepping tomatoes for a sandwhich.

I'm not saying I did this on purpose, but the tomato story is better then the truth.

I'll have missed a few days of work by the time this is over, and that makes me really sad. I like working, and making money, and looking at used cars, imagining buying a used Mercedes (found one that is gorgeous for only $2300) and driving it home and showing it off to my friends.


Oh my friends. How flaky they've been.

My dad basically gave me the go ahead to have people up here @ the apt for the weekend, cause he'll be in Chicago. His only condition was that we don't leave the placed trashed come Monday night, when he gets home.

I texted Noah about it. He sounded thrilled. Then passive-aggressively demanded the $60 Fargo destroyed along w/ my duct tape wallet last summer.

I texted Misha about it. I know both her and Suzy have to work until ten or so Saturday night, but I asked her if she wanted to drive up with Suzy and Noah, and we could all crash here at the apt, I would rent some movies and buy food for dinner that night, then on Sunday we could all go out for lunch or dinner or something, and be cool kids. She hasn't texted me back.

I would text Suzy, but it probably be the same.

I mean, if they have plans, they can just tell me, I wouldn't mind, I'm fully aware of the fact that I'm not their only friend, they're all very popular, and busy people.

So who cares if the three of them are the only three friends I have?

Hell, I'd drive back down to chill with them this weekend if they offered. So I guess I actually am kind of bitter that they haven't even given me any acknowledgement about it.

My dad keeps asking if I've heard back from them. And I keep telling him I haven't heard a word from anyone other then Noah, but his word doesn't really mean much. It's not like he can get a car and drive up here, w/ or w/o the girls, even if he really wanted to. Having no license kind of puts a damper on that sort of thing.

I think my dad feels bad about me not hearing back from them. Cause he seemed like, excited, to offer up the apt for me to entertain people. That's really cool of him. I mean I can't recall him ever doing that at the house. When we were younger, and we wanted friends over, we would ask mom, and she'd take care of it. And now that we're older, at least when it comes to Aron and I, we just have our friends show up, or bring them home. So, it's really cool of my dad to give me the option of having people over.

Too bad they're probably not going to come here.


I want to ask them to see me after my surgery, but I feel guilty/selfish for even thinking of asking them. It's not like it's a life saving, high risk surgery. But it would be nice to wake up from the anesthesia and have my friends around.

Because I don't think Dad will be there, if I remember correctly he'll be back in Chicago next Thursday. Which is alright, he's already taken yesterday off to drive me to my surgery consult in Benton Harbor. And we're at a critical point in the Opus Project, and since he's the boss of the Opus project, it took a lot for him to do that.


I ran 4 miles today. err...completed four miles. 2 in the morning at the gym (it's all I can do now, I can't grasp any weights or handles with my left hand). I ran the first mile, but walked the second .5 mile, and then ran the last portion. And this evening, I ran two miles in 20 minutes. Non stop :D so thrilled about that, now I just have to do it again, to make sure it wasn't a happy accident. And then after that, I've got to start trimming time. I think my goal at the end of the summer is to do the 2 mile in 10 minutes. That's one goal. Another goal is to be under 220 pounds, for the first time since sophomore year of high school. And another is to go down a pant size or two. Right now I'm at 225 pounds, and a size 38 waist. So I'm pretty close to that. Oh and I also want defined arms. lol, cause that'll be nice. I think I was able to do it, because dad loaned me his old pair of runners for the evening, and they've been broken in and molded into the ideal form for running. Plus, I made (in my honest opinion) a bitchin' running mix:


SONG ARTIST
"The Bears Are Coming" Late of the Pier
"Sun Hands" Local Natives
"New York Is Killing Me" Gil Scott-Heron
"Ares" Bloc Party
"Loser" Beck
"Sick Thief" Alien Ant Farm
"They're Not Horses, They're Unicorns" Bayside
"Miami" Against Me!
"Shit Luck" Modest Mouse
"Pon De Floor" Major Lazer
"Start Wearing Purple" Gogol Bordello
"Bulletproof" La Roux
"Pass Out" Tinie Tempah
"Seven Nation Army" White Stripes
"On To the Next One" Jay-Z
"Paper Planes" MIA


I really have to figure out my WCC stuff for fall. I hope I can go back. I'll admit it, I really fucked up the last two months of it. I can't bloody believe I didn't go to school at all from the end of March-end of semester. Completely foolish...no, retarded of me. Sigh, but that won't happen again, cause I'm not going to bother trying to find another girl to fall in love with anytime soon. Work and School is what I need to do this semester.

I have to email Kelly Services tomorrow, to see if they have any fall employment in Ann Arbor. Kelly Services, FYI, is the temp agency that hires the college students for Haworth, and they've got an office or two in Ann Arbor, so I'm networking :P. Anyway, I need to line up a job through them, or at the very least, legit prospects. Then my next step is to get ahold of Ryan Parrish, and see if a) he still needs a roommate, and if so we go onto b) If he want's to get an apt together. He might be put off by the fact that I won't be able to be a co-holder of the lease, because my family's credit is really bad, but I'm more then willing to be a resident of the apt, and pay him my half of the rent/utilities. I also hope he won't find it awkward that Kayla's ex boyfriend is asking him (one of her really good friends) to live with him. Cause if he does...then I guess I'm in the market for a cheap studio near WCC...

Kayla has yet to come through on her promise and hang out with me. I'M SO RAGED RAGGLE RAWR ABOUT IT ALL. HAHAHAHAHA. Nah, it's cool. She's busy, working some nasty hours, getting her new apt set up, has a boyfriend that doesn't like me. I get it, it's all good. It also doesn't help I live out in Holland for the summer :P


I'm fucking bummed I had to postpone my trip to Ann Arbor this weekend. I was going to go, to just chill out with Neil and Bryce, and maybe talk to Ryan face to face. Anddd try and figure something out with WCC. But thanks to my pay being fucked up for the last couple weeks (didn't get paid friday...) and my hand, I really don't have the money for train tickets, or spending money. Maybe I'll text Neil and see if he Bryce and Lauren want to come out to Holland for the weekend. Then when he responds w/ an "lol, that's a bit out of the way" I'll be like "hahahah ya, I was j/k" but part of me would have been serious.

Well, brightside about this weekend, I can keep my spending to a min, and save more money then for PRIDE WEEKEND 2010!! OMG so excited. I loved it last year, and the group that is going this year are cool cats.

Noah was talking to me about how Misha and Abbey (who'll be living in an apt together in Chi-town this fall) are looking into getting the keys for their place early, so we can all crash in their unfurnished apt for that weekend. And party. riotously so. Because that's also Suzy's 18 birthday, zomgggg lolol. Yeah, so basically it boiled down to me asking him, if he could ask them if I could party with them that weekend, like ride the train down either saturday evening or sunday morning, and then head up monday, naturally taking that day off of work...However, I haven't heard like any vocal confirmation from anyone outside of Noah about it.

Sometimes I feel like they just put up with me.

But then I remember times like a couple weeks ago, where I was in Suzy's kitchen, prepping veggies for a stir fry, ignoring the huge fight that she and Misha were having...after things cooled down a bit (and Abbey and Elizabeth left) Suzy came over and gave me a hug and apologized for being a bitch, and i was like "awww izzok suzy"

or later that afternoon, when Misha and I were watching Intervention, and at the end the rehabilitated woman's son said "you're smiling! I hope to see that smile every day for eternity!" and we both started tearing up.

Or any times we just chill and listen to music, or talk about movies...

Times like that, and I figure they don't "just put up with me" that they enjoy my complany. I guess it's just that I'm the "new guy" to their group, and maybe it's not quite clear how I'll mesh with their other friends. But thankfully, I'm a quite and shy guy for the longest time when it comes to new people, so we're good there :P


But to be honest, their friends and them are the people I wanted to be/hang out with in high school. The cool liberated artsy kids who were full of just life.


And now I get to hang out with them.


Speaking of videos, I'm on the video project for Opus, where we interview people about their preferences for SAP as opposed to the old information systems. It's ok if you have no idea what that is, I barely understand myself :P. But it's great cause I get to work with Dave, who's done some great funny videos for the company and he's a really nice guy, plus he said after I shadow him and observe the first couple shoots, to get an idea of every thing, I can take control and direct an interview :D. SO PUMPED


Well I should go to sleep. 5 am comes too damn early :(

Been there done that messed around

This past weekend was really awesome. Partied at Suzy's house Friday night. Then went to breakfast with the lot of them (Noah, Suzy, Misha, Abbey, and Annalise). Then we all hung out for a bit, went and bought groceries, and I cooked a stir fry for everyone, it was pretty tasty. Except by the time I had it done, Suzy was off to work, so Misha Noah and I (eurryone else kinda left over the course of the day) sat around the house an watched intervention and MTV for 4 hours :-X. Then we partied again that night, with the addition of Jason fields and dion and Caroline. But I retired early, cause I double dipped my ambien and hit the green too hard. Then I spent the rest of the weekend at home,, hanging with my family.

All in all pretty fun. I'm going to ann arbor June 11. Really pumped bout it. Hopefully I can reach fifty hours before 3 pm Friday, so I can leave early and get to the kzoo train station to hit aa.

It's only a four day week this week...so I won't be getting any overtime. Unless we come in early. Or stay late. :(

Favorite song

So a few weeks ago, I went out to lunch with Suzy and Noah. And by that I mean I drank water an watched them eat. After lunch at Chan's we went on a walk to the pier. Just the three of us, talking. I really liked it. Anyway, on our walk down the the beach, Suzy and Noah started talking about their favorite songs.

Noah said he loves "tom's diner" that song reminds me of elementary school, riding around with the family in dad's convertable.

That's his favorite song. I miss how close we were then.

But I digress.

Suzy then asked me what my favorite song was. Like my life long favorite, not my current infatuation.

And I was, stunned. I had no clue.

So I've been thinking about it all this time.

I've come up with a small handful of songs. Idk which tho:

"Jenny Says" by Cowboy mouth. This used to be Christine and dad's favorite song, when Christine was really little, dad used to sit her on his lap and sing it with her. Fuck I might be exaggerating tha scenario a bit. But they did sing it together.

It's making me tear up thinking about it. I really do miss how close our family was.

"Chicago" by Sufjan Stevens. It's the most recent song on this list (as of the initial drafting of this post) but I've been listening to it near religiously since October or november. It's bittersweet to listen to it now. Because Kayla put it on a mix cd for me. So everytime I listen to it now. I get sad and nostalgic. But it also reminds me of all my late night drives to and from ann arbor. Those were my favorite. I loved driving at night. Just me and my shitty stereo that would warp my CDs after too many listenings. I miss that feeling of driving somewhere for a happy reunion with a girl I love. Just darkness on top of darkness for hours on end while i drove and sang along horribly to my CDs. It's a happy thought, don't let the syntax fool you :)

"Me-I" Tv On The Radio. I found this song on a free album download from [adult swim]. It was called world wide renewal project and featured indie rap artists and some experimental stuff. But this was my first taste of TVOTR. It's such a calm song. And I never grow tired of it. I can listen to it on repeat for ages. I figure the reason identify with the song so much is that it just reminds me of me. The lead singer sings over and over again "where I can dream and dream and never have to wake up" and that's me. I'm just a damned dreamer. Let's get cliche shall we? I want and strive for so much, but they're all dreams. As much as I don't want to admit it, I have a strong suspicion I won't ever accomplish half the things I dreampt I'll do. But this song makes me happy. It's so optimistic too. Watch the video on YouTube. You can't help but smile.

Or maybe you won't smile. Idk. I'm probably just fucked up.


But that's not new now is it?

I hope this weekend will be fun. Kayla said she actually wants to make time and hang out.

Guilty conscience? Or she just feel safe hanging out with me and her St Joe friends now that her boy is out of town?

There's 10,000 things I want to say and scream, but I'll never let it happen.

I'm going to listen to "bulletproof" by la roux and go to sleep now.









They can't see me weak. It'll only strengthen their sympathy and loathing.

Huzzah! Success!

Bout to head out the door for day two of work.

First day went really well.

Essentially I'll be working in data clean up this summer. So it's all computer work. 50 hours a week. At $9 an hour. I'm thrilled :) I actually understand majority of my tasks assigned so far. And I'm sure as I become more familiar with the project I'll understand the rest. I'm really looking forward to this summer so far. Soon, I'll have my own air mattress and won't have to sleep on the floor! But it's not that bad.

I'm going to the gym every morning at five and running every evening after work. Turnin things around. Better body in the works. Money in my pocket soon enough. Healthier mindset already. Of course I'll still be pale as all get out, thx to the ten hour days I'll be putting in.

But I'm excited. I like wearing these dress shirts and slacks. I feel all proper and legit.

The culture @ Haworth isn't horrible either. I guess my only experience with business culture was Office Space and the few times I've visited dad at work. The people there are pretty cool. All nice.

I just know I wouldn't want to make it my career.

Worky work.

First day in like 6 hours. So nervous.

I hope i can survive this corporate culture.

I hope I can survive this summer with my dad.

It's like I'm a guest in some ones house that I don't know all to well. Which is fucking depressing and sad as hell.

I miss hanging out with my dad. I hope this summer will bring us closer to somesort of typical father-son relationship. Whatever that maybe. Hopefully something functional.

I hope this summer is good to us both.

In other news: def enjoy hanging with Noah and company: Suzy, Annalise, Elizabeth and the like. They're really laid back chill people. There is no urge amongst them to be the dominate member of the group, like there was with AJ, or Jared, or Jesse. And even tho I was the only straight one there...with the possibility of elizabeth, iunno where she falls...I felt right at home. Comfortable. I'll miss hanging with them. I wish Kayla was chilling with us last night. Cause they're her friends too. Hell she knew Suzy and Annalise (maybe) before I did. But it was just like, idk, like I didn't want to be that one guy who invites his ex to hang out, in a seemingly desperate play to make her realize he's all good. Fuck idk. Next time I'm in town and we're all together, I'll drop her a line. I miss hanging out with Kayla. She's a cool cat. But she might be here tomorrow. To hang with Kayleen. And I might hang out with them, if they want. That'll be pretty cool.

But yeah, Saturday was pretty awethome. The lot of us just chilled at Suzy's house for hours, talking bout life and all that. It wasn't a super deep, personal pow-wow, but it wasn't superficial. I enjoyed myself.

On a side note. I think I like Suzy. Which is completely ridiculous. Talk about wanting what you can't have. She's gay for Christ's sake. Lol oh alex you silly bastard.

I'm going to try and sleep now. On the floor. With these tiny fleece blankets. Christine swore there were legit blankets here. And I can't buy an air matress untill I get paid in a couple weeks. So uh yeah, hello sore back and stiff neck.

:P

Hello Holland

Well tomorrow is my first day on the job @ Haworth. So friggin' nervous. I'm sure it'll be fine. It's been over a year since I've held a legit job, and I've never done anything like what I'll be doing for Haworth. Like a real 9-5 job. That's crazy. But it'll give me a taste of the corporate world. Which will jumpstart my ass into finding work that I'll love and therefore avoid said corporate culture.

Fuck so nervous. I hope I can sleep. I've been doing well the past couple nights. Ironically, the night I posted the previous blog about not being able to have "real" sleep, I was out like a log. It was crazy good. And last night was a good sleep too. Unless they were both the same night, and I'm just mixing them up. I don't know, I can't keep track of days. Even on my medication...

I still like it when Kayla calls me...it makes me feel good. Probably more then it should, but I don't care.

I can see why she's upset that I called John a dog. But I don't regret what I've said. Life is difficult enough as it is, w/ out regretting shit. So I don't. Really hope that doesn't put a wrench in things.

I'm glad I can still talk to Kayla and shit. I really do wanna be her best friend, or what have you. Although, to be honest, the conversations we have on the phone are kinda sketchy, cause she always ends them at weird times. Like last night, she literally ended it mid sentence. Which was a shame, cause I was really intrigued in what she was talking about (Ryan R is looking for a roommate for next fall in Ann Arbor)

But it's getting easier. Like I've fully accepted the fact she's moved on. Which is damned good. She looks happy w/ him. So power to them. I'd toast them if I drank with them.

Tonight was my last night here in Baroda for a while. So I spent it with Misha, Annalise, and Noah, and Elizabeth Driscoll. They're all cool legit people. Like no joke about it. Idk, I feel calm and relaxed when I'm with them. I don't say much, which is no surprise if you know me. Takes me a while to warm up to people and converse and shit with them. But it was really relaxing and cool.

It looks like Kayla is trying to get to Holland come Monday to hang out with her bestie Kayleen. Hope I spelled that right. Anyway, she mentioned something about me hanging with them. Maybe I will. I'll see what it's like hanging out with Kayla now that she's my friend. And now that I'm sober.


I really really hope my parents don't read this blog. Nothing in their behavior or conversations with me have led me to believe this to be the case. But you never know.

I say that because: I really miss pills. It's so hard to not just instinctively grab for a Vicodin or Ambien when I'm in a social setting. But I figure I have to quit, to guarantee my job. And besides, chemically dependencies are for the weak spirited. And me?

I'm one tough motherfucker. I don't need to go crawling to any pills or anything to make me feel good.


I'm just excited to get out of SWMI for the summer. It's a real drag. I'm also pumped for the fall. Going to get my own apartment...or maybe a two bedroom w/ Ryan P. If he still needs a roommate.

I think I won't be coming home next weekend. I'm going to try and grab a train out to Ann Arbor to chill with Neil and them. We'll see. there's a party going down for Ryan's girlfriend. It's her birthday. So that could be fun. If I get a legit invite that is. I don't wanna be "that" guy, that shows up at the party as a friend of a friend. That's weird.

Who knows.

Damn I'm so tired. But hungry. But my stomach is also upset. That's so weird to have an upset and hungry tummy at the same time.


I'm going to bed.

Sleep

I haven't had a real night of sleep in a week. I'm not saying I've been awake all this time. I'm not even sure if that's possible.

It's just been nightmares. Or semi-conscious firings in my brain.

But it's all I got. I can't get a lick of sleep on this bed. Best I can get are 30 minute naps on the couch. Anything longer then that, my head starts fucking with me.

Makes me wish Freddy Krueger was real...make all this nonsense worthwhile.

:P

Just a quick post

I'm sitting here, waiting for my mom to drive me to Holland, so I can take a drug test, to go work w/ my dad for the summer. I'm still not sure how I feel about spending an entire summer with him. But that's nothing new. "Oh wow, a teen aged guy who has issues with his dad, what a surprise."

Well, at least it's money.

I spent last week at Neil and Bryces' place. It was pretty chill and cool. I felt like at the end of the visit, I was getting on their nerves. Mainly cause it's a cluttered apartment, and I slept on the couch, so I was constantly in with everyone. All well.

I'm planning on going back to Ann Arbor a couple times this summer, to see them, and hang out and such. It should be pretty cool.


Pride is end of June, I'm thinking about taking the train down from Holland, and meeting up with Noah and company, if they decide to go to Pride. That'll be fun, I enjoyed it last year.

Kayla's dating someone else. I'd be a shitty ass liar if I said I wasn't kinda bummed about it. But she's happy, so it's all good.

I've got a sore throat atm. And it's bothering the hell out of me. All well.

Hopefully my dad and I won't be butting heads all summer long. Cause I really don't think I could stay there if I did. I find it...idk, rather interesting, maybe a bit sad, that it's been well over two years since I've spent more then a weekend with him. When I think about it, it does make me rather sad that I don't spend a lot of time with him. I mean he chose to live in Holland, to go to work, so he could support the lot of us. And yet, I can hardly stand to be in the same room as him. It's not that he's a bad person. He's really cool, and what not. It's just that the decisions I've made over the past few years have disappointed him, and there's a constant tension whenever we're together. It's a shame I've made him disappointed in me.


But he has another son, who can, and is well on his way to be, the golden child.


On the other hand, I think this summer in Holland will be good for me. It's not Baroda, or Ann Arbor. So I'm not going to be haunted there.

It's ridiculous, but I can hardly sleep in my own bed now. You all really shouldn't have to wonder why.

I'm scared I won't pass this drug test. I took an ambien a couple nights ago, to help me get to sleep, and I'm afraid it'll be on the list of banned substances, which will really suck, because I would have had no idea.

Well, here's to a better tomorrow, and a forgotten yesterday, cheers

This is a blog like no other

Disclaimer: I'm on my vyvanse and ambien. Now, I do not know if my family follows my blog. But if they do, I just want you all to know that I had the ambien, to try and sleep, but it down somewhere, got back onto my computer and started looking at photoshop tutorials. so I wanted to focus through those, and my Excel training, so i took one of my V (remind you its for ADD) and took it with a mountain dew. of course, since V don't kick in right away, and we know me, I cant keep both eyes on the same thing. so having forgotten that I had just downed the V, I popped the Ambien. And what is posted below you is what i wanted to record. I'm sure Noah would have loved to have been awaken to this tapestry of ants

Sure, it has the ironic title, but I just trust me, and I'll show you what you'll soon be looking at:

[04:39] ARL1990: Hello NOah. I apologize if this will be read awkwardly for ya. THese keys you see, they've taken on the feeling of cocobutter..and it seems my hands are now tiny revolting troll fingers. I'm working on getting the girls out of the photoshop. I keep seeing it in there eyes. Mainly so in Misha's eye. The work i'm doing here should hopfelly have a rewarding out come for us. I'll come on the scene as the new fly guy artsty man, we'll take SWMI by storm you and i. Noah as i try and try again to type this thing, i see double, and the letters and words, they don't cooperate. they're lightyears behind me and my curser. this carnivale that is in my head. it's mad fun. but distracts us from our purpose....AH! which is to let you know that i am photo manipulating under the influence. the things i'm experience are all for the fact that you WOULDN'T go down thsi path. everything i touch hurts and soothes me. my hair whispy with jagged lil lines....just like this red lines from the chocolate keyboard, that are choking my words, which are sticking my fingers in traps, which is slowing down my body. but my head is racing faster and faster with every hypnotic note of the beets in my heads. I want you to know that my sane normal senses are loosing control..but listen. I'll get these projects done i want to make you all shiny giants, seductress women of Olympus. so that's why I have to do what i have to do. they just don't want us to know that these pills that i've been "poisoning" myself with are letting me see interactions between things AI've never seen. Like my key board for example: its clearly a keyboard. but with my RXfriends the keys fluctuate under various pressures and andgles. imagine a world with full specs keyboard that has gummy buttons. because that is how these feel to me. I keep looking at the trial piece im working on here on my DESKTOP and it will be a portrait of Misha. But now...thanks to this exploration and forging of these two 21st century powerplayers these RX scripts and Adobe's PhotoShop...but now thanlks to combimning prescrpts with computers, I can see my pieces in my work, before i'm even finished

[04:39] ARL1990: they live

[04:40] ARL1990: everything lives. this wall of ants like texts lives just as my fingers type this nonsense

[04:40] ARL1990: everything is connected noah!

[04:41] ARL1990: letters becoming animals on screen, perhaps animals becoming letters on another insomniac's screen. my tongue powers the muscles in my arms

[04:42] ARL1990: but now i have to get to photoshop to try and figur out this new creation. let leash Lichtenstein via misha trux.

[04:44] ARL1990: Noah I fell I'm in dream where i escaped the looney bin, and came home. only know my home is the looney bin. I keep catching nurses trying to test me. BUT THEY DON'T GET IT. BECAUSE THEY AREN'T NURSES. THEY'RE NOT SPIRITS OR GHOSTS OR ANY ONE TRYING TO SCARE US. ITS JUST THE MOUNDS OF TECH THAT SURROUNDS MY DESKTOP STATION.YUP THAT'S WHAT IT IS. THAT AND COUPLED WITH AN OVEREAGER PERIPHERAL VISION

[04:44] ARL1990: i AM ON TO SOMETHING SOMETHING THAT WILL LEVEL THE PLAYING FIELD FOR KEYBOARDERS

[04:44] ARL1990: YOU SHOULD TOUCH MY HAIR it feel so course and taught. but not greasy


[04:45] ARL1990: feels like a mans hair

[05:06] ARL1990: everything i drink taste like warm bitter, yet really rewarding. I know I'm not working in a real edit lab.so i know these intimidation men...if they are that, for some of their measurements seem otherworldly. THEY KEEP TRYING TO GET INSIDE MY LIL NEST, WHILE I TRY AND SOLVE THIS PHOTOSHOP MYSTERY. i need to know who is behind these attacks on my work. DO NOT WORRY i say do not worry about what I said bout these otherworldy people getting all in here. That I know for a fact is looney. nothing there.Just me, the author, the editor. Nothing there just a bizzare guy with an overactive imagination. combine that with your new study medications, then it's possible for some very week hallucinations.

[05:09] ARL1990: you're going to read this wall of ant type and you will be blown away by what was writtin by these ant letters. thats how i see them now. just line after line of elitist ants making words so we can all read and write TOGETHER (TO TURN THEM OVER, BUT KEEP IT ON THE DL) mY my shadows are continuation of my fingers more finger tips, more work can be done so quickly. please please please

[05:10] ARL1990: save every single letter i've typed here for this monument to me and my chemically controlled bouts of creativity.

[05:14] ARL1990: BTW I'm not mad at Kayla, or John THey each deserve a piece of my estastes. Kayla can have the spare house. John...he can have the spare trailer. We;ll find a awesome rock star trailer. blacks and purples. I DEEMAND A CAPE AND FURS TO WEAR ALONGSIDE MY GOLDS AND MEDALS. I AM KING OF MY ESTATES, its good to be king. and noah. I know i am intoxicated. but the letters look like theyre having fun being written down, like if they were all in a school, they'd b seeing this sentence structure thinnggy as a sweet ride from boring schoool


OOO Special Surprise at the end of the fable: Called: TEXT: just too her from me and no one else, I just talk bout my iphone:

A (A for Alex): Crises Averted, Iphone looks ike it was made by Fred Flinstone. BUT IN OTHER DRUGGED ARTIST news, my first real photoshopped edit job is almost done :) I'll post it to facebook for the world see it. if i think they will look good. But now, you have sleep. and now my iPhone now feels like I'm poking penguins on their heads

Bahahaha

My chest is hurting. Everytime I swallow or burp it hurts.

I have to be sure to always recognize the line between fantasy and reality. Cause that's the only thing there is anymore. Reality seems so surreal, like a waking dream, and fantasy at times just seems brutally honest. If that line starts to fade then something will happen that I'll one say regret. In the meantime:

I'M IN THE KNIFE BUSINESS BETCH bahahahha

Testing 1,2,3

Everything that's been said and done is pushing me to create something new with what I've got.

And when it's completed, I'll light this world up, and watch it burn.
***

I've got nothing. Don't need anything. Fuck this and fuck confessing.

Broken and abused. Toy'd with and amused.

I'm being fucked with like a fuck toy. Fuck boy you was da sex toy. Now you the fucked toy.

I'm having fun here.

Why you having fun there. Pullin strings. Fucking things.

Up down all turned around. In my bed, in my head. I sit in dread.

Accepting things as they are. Just wanna be stubb-o-rn.

Tell him, tell her, tell 'em all

Be sure an' keep the rubber'n.

How crude can I get? Rude? How bout

10 dudes. In the brood? Nothing but.

Food for thought, food for fun.

Fun for one. In my bed. With my hand.

On your neck.

Grab your gun and pull the trigger. Time to hunt and grab number one-one.

Add his head to da wall. Right up there with them all.

***
Oh man. That was fun. Some of that shits weak but lol ya

Dude

idk. I just feel good right now.

Like things are not bothering me anymore. I'm thinking clearly. Idk, it just feels good right now.


I'm waiting on my mom to come home with jimmy john's for me. and directions to the rental house, so I can finally take a shower.

heya

I was bored today. So I cut and dyed my hair. It's cool I like it.


I'm so bored, the rest of this week is just going to dragggg byyy

Urgh

I'm an ass-hat

Crap

I've got this nervous, guilty feeling in my gut. Like something bad is going on. Something I don't want. ughhhhhhhhhhhhh


I don't like feeling like this. It's like how I feel when I have to present in class.

I just feel so sweaty and out of sorts and confused.

Although the sweaty part could be due to the really warm atmosphere here in the apt.

IDK, I just want it to be Monday night.

I've got an idea. But no plan. For anything really.

Hopefully it'll work. I need it to work. Not because I was afraid to be with out before. But because I know it was a mistake. My mistake that did this.

Ugh. uncomfortable feeling!

bah hum and bug.

I'm glad I get to see Noah Monday night tho. That'll be pretty cool.

Edit: I hate myself because I've basically put myself into solitary confinement. I haven't really talked to any one the past few days. But I want to. I want to talk to people, and talk this thing out with them, to get new perspectives on it. But I can't do that with anybody. And the people I do want to talk to, well they're not there. It really sucks.

So I just sit here and mope about the apartment. I fill out applications. I email people about jobs I've applied to. I eat. I watch tv. I lie down. I read some parts of the novel I'm working through. And I repeat it all. the whole process, two, maybe three times a day.

Sure at night once or twice I'll go out and hang out with Neil. But he's in the same boat as I am, so we have nothing new to say to each other. It's always "so, did you hear from her?" "nope, how bout you?" "nah, the same" "fuck our lives dude" "no joke. Then we sit there, struggling to converse. To connect. To become friends on more then one pathetic level.

But I can't make a respectable argument, or complaint about what I'm feeling. This isn't new territory for anyone. I'm literally in the company of countless others. But yet I feel alone. And that's so fucking cliche I just want to rip my spine out and beat myself into oblivion with it. "waa, I'm all alone. No one knows what it's like" fucking A! shut up! I know people do.

Part of me wants to constantly text her, try and get ahold of her. But that's dumb. That's one of the reasons this all blew up in the first place. So I'm trying to be good about it. I think I'm succeeding. But still I text her more then I feel is appropriate, at least according to the part of me that thinks I should just 'go away' so to speak.

But if I sever all ties with her, won't that put me in the same position I was with Adri...almost a year ago? I don't respond to her, just ignore her. Wouldn't that cause us to drift apart?

I wish I could sleep.

Traveler's Log

Day three in this Unusual yet Familiar territory.

I resorted to killing and eating a cat. Now my stomach is in knots.

BOOM headshot

I keep checking my email, expecting a response from the jobs I've applied for today. It's almost 11:30 at night. I know there will be no emails in my inbox from anyone until at least tomorrow. And even then that sounds unlikely.

But I have to keep pressing on. Gotta find a job. Be a productive member of the capitalist society.

I'm hoping to find a job by the end of the week. That's my goal. I don't care if it's a $7.50/hr gig at Mickey D's. I'm going to get a job, and work my ass of. Going to find me a nice cheap place to live. Maybe a two bedroom place, get a roommate, to lessen the hit on my wallet.

I'd have to work 30 hours a week at $7.50 to make $3,600 by the end of summer, and that's before taxes. All well.

I miss bread. And meat. And fresh vegetables. This Ramen diet is tiring me out man. But I'll go buy some groceries come Thursday? Yeah, sounds good.

I feel so weird talking to the counselor at school.

Cause it's not like I have unique problems. But I still needed someone to talk to, about life, work and school, so I am. That's what healthy people do right? Talk to people about what's going on? as opposed to being stoic and hiding problems?

Also, I just checked my mail again. No emails :( lol

HELLO MONTANA

I would never go to Montana. Too much of nothing going on there.

my tummeh hurts, but izzok.

I applied for food stamps today. I'm hoping to get some results from that, cause even if it's $200 a month for food, I'll at least have my food budget secured.

I've been applying to jobs hardcore all day today. I emailed several postings on craigslist, including: gas station attendent, cashier at a hardware store, cashier at a hotel, house keeping at the same hotel, and one I'm most excited about: a butcher's apprentice.

I don't know, there's something old timey and awesome about the notion of apprenticing under a butcher that just seems cool. And it's not like it's at one of those big corporate, scary slaughterhouses, it's a small deli/restaurant thing called Plum's Market in Ann Arbor, it seems pretty cool and hip.

If I got the butcher gig, it would be 9 bucks an hour. figure if I work for 25 hours a week, it would be $225/week. So, $900 a month. Work May-August (not including part time hours I could get in April, or beyond August), and that works out to $3,600. Not a fortune, but enough to secure schooling, and a place to live.

My dad also called me yesterday about a potential job back home, in Bridgman. It's w/ a sand mining company, so it's bound to be hard work, but labor jobs like that pay really really well, so if I get that job, I'll just move back after school is over at the end of April, and work there all summer.

I'm still looking at/applying as I type this.

Yesterday was the wake up call I needed to get my shit in gear. Getting a job probably won't fix anything, but it's still something that needs to be done. So that's good I reckon.

I meant to go buy groceries today. But I didn't. All well. I can live off of Ramen until Thursday.

Hey

Dear blog,

Always wanted to start one of those with that.

Anyway, she's right. I don't know how to act without her. I always had this idea as to how fall would go down. But no, it's not even happening that way.

I really don't know what to do. It's tough when the one good thing that has happened to me this past summer decides to quit.

I'll find a job, find a place to live come next semester.

That'll end it all, yeah? Make everything good.

She's the only reason I was taking all of next week off to come home. I felt bad for not being there for her birthday. And for how I've been acting. So I was going to make it up by trying my hardest to be awesome for her.

This sucks. I'm going to sleep

Whatever your problem is...

...Get over it.

That's cool. Too bad it's not that easy. Ugh

I wish I had a friend I could talk to up here. Some one I could text and talk about my shit.

I can't always talk to Kayla cause sometimes what she does upsets me. I mean it shouldn't. It just does. Like tonight, she was talking with her friend Jon bout his problems. But it's like "why doesn't he talk to his girlfriend, or someone else?" as far as I can tell, Kayla and him just started hanging out again, and he's already soliciting her for phone calls about his life after midnight? I don't like it. I know it should bother me. Cause she's too smart to fuck up and cheat.

But I can't talk to her about that cause she always says "well I have a lot of guy friends" a lot of whom seem to develop crushes on her. I have a list.

And I can't talk to Neil bout it cause he's dealin with shit with the girl he likes.

Even tho I count him as a friend, I'm still lonely over here.

It be better if Kayla was here. Cause then I wouldn't have these agonizing feelings about other boys trying to get with her.

In some other news, 37 dead in Moscow.

Other news, finally starting a new project in film class. But our first project still isn't done yet.

HOLY NUTS

Guys, guess what? Yet another re-shoot. Because last weekend, our camera's play heads were apparently dead/dying/on the way out. So that means that no images were imprinted on the tape.


So we have to shoot yet again. This Sunday. I'm picking up the equipment either tomorrow, or Friday.

and still no clue if we have the same couple for the re-shoot. Or any couple for that matter.

Ugh. I'm so tired of this certain project.

There was this potato, see?

I cut it into several little cubes. And did the same with another potato.

And then I cooked them in a pan w/ salt and oil for 30 minutes, then seasoned w/ garlic and Italian spices.

and then put two eggs over easy in it and sprinkled it with cheese.

Undeniably unhealthy. But supremely tasty.


Now to attend to this coronary.


So I'm waiting for an email to come at 9 this morning, telling us if we have our shoot or not. If we do, fuck yes, I am pumped. If not, well I'll go donate plasma, then nap. hopefully we'll move the shoot to Saturday, or Sunday. Except both of those days are supposed to be rainy. Good thing I rented out a rain cover.

Man I was so not prepared to rent out the equipment. I mean, don't worry I got everything we needed, and then some. I just did it at the last minute. And they lectured me about it. Apparently every one get's one Thursday evening rental per semester, and that was mine. But it was worth it. I picked up the Canon GL2 (that's the camera, it's pretty neato) a tripod, as well as a boom pole and shot gun mic attachment.

I'm excited to be the DP on this shoot. Cause, as I'm sure I've probably mentioned in my last post, I find it really fun to be in charge of getting the correct shots and angles. It's pretty cool, imho.


Anyway, probably going to go to sleep soon.

@ Kayla, UPDATE YOUR BLOG por favor.

@ Gavin, how's the cooking going?

I am now....

...The Cameraman. FUCK YA IT ROCKS BEING DEMOTED. And while at first I was pretty bummed (especially when it was Paul who took my place) but now I'm kinda happy about it. I don't have as much pressure on me from every one in the group to be an awesome director. So now I'm going to be an awesome DP (Director of Photography/Cinematographer) I've spent a lot of time yesterday going through Paul's story board, and breaking it down and figuring out the mechanics behind getting each shot. It's pretty fun actually :)

Anyway I'm still trying to find a job. I've gotten word back about a painting gig over the summer, so that's pretty awesome if I can get it, cause it's ten bucks an hour, and I get to work outside, on ladders and such.

Still trying to find an apartment. Really would like to sublease this apartment from Philorie. But I need money to do so.

Hippy Hash and Hipster Trash

So for the past week or so, I've been experimenting with hippy hash. I've been working on making restaurant quality hash, but so far it hasn't worked. I obviously realize that the greatest dishes are never made perfectly the first time around, so I'm not letting it upset me.

So for my experiment w/ Hash, this is what I was going to have in it: 4 potatoes (shredded), 2 Onions (chopped), Assorted sweet peppers (chopped), and Chicken (pan cooked), and then topped w/ a cheese (either Feta or Cheddar, either is delicious with it. Eggs can be added to this, and it's pretty good. I enjoy eggs over easy w/ this dish, cause you can then break the yoke and it seeps into all the corners of the plate and gets every thing nice and tasty. All of this feeds about 2 people

My first attempt, the shredded potatoes turned out grey. I'm really not sure how that happened, although I think it may have been a combination of leaving the skins on and not drying out the stacks of shredded potatoes before cooking. It still tasted alright w/ all the other ingredients, it was just a matter of getting over the off putting coloring they had.

My second attempt was a bit better, and here, I skinned the potatoes fires but they began to burn a lot quicker. not sure why, still tasted and looked better then the first batch

(Mind you, these first two attempts were created in the kitchen in my Ann Arbor residence)

My third attempt was made back home in Baroda. I didn't have any chicken that time, so it was just going to be potatoes onions and cheddar cheese, just a quick simple variant on the hash. Except this time, half of my potatoes burnt to the bottom of the pan, and were unusable. So I gave the surviving potato mixture to Kayla. However all the onions survived so there was a very disproportionate onion:potato ratio. The second batch I made, I just diced the potatoes as opposed to shredding them, and cooked them as normal. This time they didn't burn. I just cut them a bit too thick so they weren't super crispy the whole way through :(

All well, it was really tasty.

I'm back in Ann Arbor now. We were going to have legit, official rehearsals today. But apparently the only members of the crew who could make it were me and Chrishelle. So I'm still having Jenny and Zack (our actors) come over to go over the story and lines. It shouldn't be a problem.

No, the only problem I have is this Paul guy. He only chimes in when he complains about our ideas, and never offers a plausible solution in time. Like take this past week for example:

Chrishelle was unable to book the auditorium (not her fault it seems it was a problem on their end) so we had to revert from our new idea (where we make a mockumentary about the rehearsal process for a short student film) to our original idea (where it's shot outside and is about a boy and a girl who get into an argument). And I offered to write the screenplays to both of these ideas, because Paul hadn't delivered us a legit screenplay for his idea when I asked him for it by this past Friday. So I wrote it, and sent it off to them this morning. And guess what? We finally hear back from Paul, and all he says is "Alex, what is this? I told you I don't feel comfortable shooting this lame ass idea. Have the actors look over both your idea and my idea and tell them to pick which one they want." and I'm pissed now, cause this god damned fucker can't even bother to show up to class on time, so who does he think he is saying "he's not comfortable" with this idea? He's a bloody cameraman, I'm not coming to him for creative points or any bullshit like that. I swear...

I'm on my last nerve with this guy. Because as I hinted in a few earlier posts, this isn't his first time being a tool. For example: He was a week late presenting a treatment to our group. And then he presented another idea to us that he wanted to do. So I figured I'd throw him a bone, and I told him "Have a screenplay to us by the Friday before break, and we'll go with your idea" That Wednesday all he does is send a slightly more in-depth treatment to the group, trying to pass it off as a "screenplay" so we told him to fix it and we'll do it. Never heard anything back from him about it. On Friday we had auditions for actors from the drama department, however no one showed up, except Rick, Chrishelle and myself. So the three of us figured out a new idea (the above mentioned "mockumentary" idea) and I started on the screenplay for that. So Chrishelle sends an email out to our whole group, telling them the new plan and Paul's only response is "well I won't be available at all this week". And now his lil upset over being "uncomfortable"

Fucking hipster trash

I'm all out of Pop Tarts, and this is sad

I'm so depressed. Watching food network, and I ran out of pop-tarts just now.

DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE 25 FLAVORS OF POP TART? I WANT THEM ALL

I wanna try the cherry ones

Anyway, I figured you all should know this

and enjoy the picture in the title link.

They're delicious.

Eating like a poor bugger

Well Hiya guysss


It's been awhile, sorry about that, I've been busy working on my film project. I'm finished with the story board AND the shot list (yay, go me!) and I'm all set to hand it in tomo-'scuse me, need to get some water, these noodles are SPICY!

OK back now. Anyway, ya, my film, it's coming along nicely. Paul, the stubborn member of the team has finally cracked, and I have him working on our script. I'm excited. He's a smart, funny guy, so I'm glad we've got him engaged.

In other news, I've been cooking for myself now. And I don't mean Easy Mac/Ramen Noodles. I mean real meals! Well as best as I can do with no reliant source of income, I mean I donate plasma when I feel motivated to do so, it's just a LONG PERIOD OF TIME. For a small pay out.

Well Friday night I made this scramble, like we used to do back in high school. And by "we" I mean people I no longer hang out with, cause they're all tools/I moved across the state :-P

Any way: When we would all hang out at AJ's house, we would get hungry around 2 or three in the morning, so we would make these scrambles. It would be a whole roll of Jimmy Dean's Sausage, with a shload of potatoes, onions, and zucchini. We'd season the fuck out of it w/ garlic, salt, Worcester sauce, hot sauce, etc. W/e we felt like. Finally, we'd melt a block of cheese over it, and consume it. It was greasy, artery clogging Heaven on earth.

And I recreated here, in a tiny apartment kitchen, using only vegetarian options. Mainly out of necessity, but never the less, it was GOOD.

I started out dicing two small potatoes. They were a bit past their prime (IE squishy to the touch and growing eyes) But I cut them open and found that they weren't rotting, so I used them. In addition to these potatoes, I skinned and cut two small (but still really potent) onions. I then heated a skillet w/ some olive oil in it, and added the potato and onion mixture to it, with a big spoonful of diced garlic (I love garlic) and a healthy pinch of crushed chilis. I let this simmer and sweat for a while, and in the mean time I prepared my veggie burger mix, by adding the mix to a bowl full of hot water, and letting it sit for 15 minutes after I mixed it. I then crumbled the mixture into the pan, and fried it all up. When everything was golden brown, and seared ever so nicely, I cut the heat and transfered it to my plate.

It was amazing. I just wish I had cheese to shred on top of it. But all in all, a good night's meal. (bottom photo, my apologies first time dealing w/ photos :-X

Saturday Night, I made Penne (center photo) w/ a tomato/basil sauce, to which I added sweated onions and some left over veggie crumble. It was fairly divine.

That's pretty much all I've done. I'm off to go play on StumbleUpon

buh-bye

And tonight I made Bowtie (top photo) noodles w/ a spicy olive oil dressing. I sadly burnt the garlic/red pepper/olive oil dressing when i was making it, so it obviously tastes a bit burnt, but it's still really good, and filling